Women Dramatize Grindr Pickup Lines and It's Pretty Hilarious

The best part of this series, besides the messages, is the fact that the readings are so completely out of sync with the tone that the writer meant to convey when they typed out and a sentiment about jizzing in someone’s beard and sent it out over the airwaves, hoping that on the other side there’d be a beard, and perhaps one that hadn’t been moisturized in quite some time. Also great? The genuine confusion one woman felt when she asked whether “working on my pole” meant grooming or not. To be fair, though, I also don’t know what that means and thought that some dude was trying to subtly let his potential suitor know that he has a stripper pole in his home. And that’s kind of more exciting than the reality that he’s just on the phone and jerking it (which is like every day for many of us, no?). Also: These messages have nothing on the ones some of my friends have shown me. I like a good “as spanking” as much as the next guy, but can’t one get a hello first? Also, this reminds me of when I used to try to pick up guys on AOL as a teenager and I had read somewhere that a clever opening line was the best way to get someone’s attention so I would greet strangers with “Hello, nuuuuuuuuurse!”

Full disclosure: Aside from loving this series, I met Abby (the woman with the glasses and white hair) in May when I almost knocked her over on my way to the bathroom at a comedy club. She apologized and I said “wait, are you WOOF?” and she probably thought I was dangerous.