Shopping for pre-owned fur coats on eBay in the dead of summer is remarkably entertaining thanks to the models, who range from reluctant to fabulous.
This is actually what I’ve been doing before bed lately instead of reading. I like to imagine the back stories. Owning a fur coat signifies that at some point in her life, a woman (or someone she knows) had a couple grand to throw around on luxury items. Selling a fur—off-season no less—is an indication of change. So what happened?
The most interesting to me are the ladies who are so pissed off they can’t even smile in their listing pictures. They’re being put upon in some way—like they need the cash to bail a family member out of jail or to pay for their daughter’s cat’s surgery or something.
This poor woman looks like she’s being forced at gun point to put her coat in an online auction.
Speaking of gun point, there’s definitely a mob wives/aging gumar aesthetic to some of these.
This lady is selling all her furs. She has so many! Her husband must’ve cheated on her a lot. They probably got divorced, but because he doesn’t have an on-the-books job she didn’t get any alimony so now she has to liquidate her assets. She’s living Carmela’s nightmare.
My favorite subcategory of eBay fur models is ” the help“—when rich ladies turn their housekeepers into unwilling fit models.
A close second is the “take the fucking picture already” models. (Especially if it’s some lady’s teenage son.)
While I recognize that selling a fur bolero by sitting on the hood of a late model Mustang in a sequined dress is sort of a floss fail I can’t help but find it incredibly endearing.
God, what I wouldn’t give to walk past one of my mom’s neighbors doing a photo shoot like this in their yard.
OK, so this lady…there’s something really sexual about all of her auctions. Maybe it’s the phrasing (“Look and feel so very chic and sexy”), maybe it’s the iridescent jeans or maybe it’s the fact that many of her photos are so clearly taken in various motel rooms. Whatever the case, she’s hero material.
I urge you to check out the auction for this filthy white jacket with faux fur collar. I feel like somebody is trying to sell this woman’s jacket out from under her! Like, they tricked her into posing for these pictures by turning on some music and giving her a tupperware container of junk food. “Get up and dance with Diane! Go on!”
The dancing picture is the main photo used for the auction. Composition aside, it reveals that there are at least two large dogs that live in that house with that jacket, not to mention the severe water damage near the top of the wall that looks like it might be growing mold.
The item description simply reads: “very od.” What the fuck does that even mean? Like OD, as in overdose? To be fair, that jacket is so druggy it looks like you can snort it.