Would You Die On the Moon? A Lively Debate

In Depth

kara: btw jia a lot of people are not on board with the moon option

jia tolentino: dang

just me and emma then

Emma Carmichael: jia, i’m ready for the moon trip right now, say the word

Madeleine Davies: die on the moon?!

i hate space

Emma Carmichael: how can you be so sure??

kara: I think you guys needed a longer lifespan for that option to be appealing

It’s 2014, 65 is a bit young

Madeleine Davies: i once got into an actual fight with a friend because i said space travel was stupid

and i stand by that

kara: Although I guess arguably life is all downhill after 65

Emma Carmichael: 65, i’m out

i’ll choose organ flushing on the moon

you get to go to the moon!

kara: Just go to the moon later!

Madeleine Davies: the moon is a rock with nothing on it


Erin Ryan: i feel like i don’t know any of you moon people at all

Emma Carmichael: maddie, counterpoint: the earth is garbage & full of garbage ppl

Erin Ryan: why would you want to go to the moon

the moon is the earth but without cool stuff

and smaller

and your family is very far away

Emma Carmichael: i’ll send you guys a postcard

before my skull caves in or w/e

Erin Ryan: i’d like to die right away at age 65 i don’t want to have a poorly attended funeral and most of my friends will still be alive then

Madeleine Davies: hahaha

Erin Ryan: if you live a long time, by the time you die there’s nobody left to mourn you. so 65 it is.

kara: I plan on being laid in state

so that won’t be a problem

hillary: I wanna be cremated and dumped over the Golden Gate Bridge I think

Emma Carmichael: lol

fun friday talk

hillary: ha, I was just thinking that

Madeleine Davies: i think i want a green burial

kellyfaircloth: the moon seems limited, i want to go to mars

hillary: How Jezebel Would Like to Die and Be Buried

kellyfaircloth: as long as i get there before elon musk

Madeleine Davies: where they dump you in the woods without a casket and allow the elements to have at you

kellyfaircloth: don’t want to live there if it’s with tech zillonaires

Kate Dries: yea the green burial thing sounds chill

hillary: “elements” Maddie?


Madeleine Davies: 1. it is the only way to guarantee an after life

hillary: softer language for rabid animals

Emma Carmichael: what is a moon death if not an element death

Kate Dries: cremation and then scattering of ashes is a good second bet

Madeleine Davies: 2. the animals deserve it

Emma Carmichael: “guarantee”

kara: that’s what my dad wants kate

Erin Ryan: oh i’d be stoked if a wolf dug me up and ate me

kara: but he wants us to keep the ashes

which I don’t plan on doing

Erin Ryan: i could literally become a puppy of a wolf

Kate Dries: oh i am NOT into that

you gotta scatter

kara: I definitely will

hillary: Keep them Kara?

kara: he won’t know

hillary: =(

Kate Dries: if any of you guys have questions about whether you can scatter ashes at the grand canyon

let me know

i have answers

kara: well imagine the man who raised me

he could have been kidding

Madeleine Davies: sorry to be this person, but cremation is really bad for the environment!

hillary: what? why?

kara: lol whaaat?

Kate Dries: yea it is

Madeleine Davies: not that you should tell your dad that

hillary: LIES Maddie

Kate Dries: it takes a lot of energy

hillary: LIES

Kate Dries: to burn the body

Emma Carmichael: maddie you are really debbie downering this lively conversation about death

Madeleine Davies: i just mean for your personal choices

Kate Dries: you know what’s not bad for the environment tho

kara: i’m telling him you said that

Erin Ryan: yeah this is like varsity level debbie downering

Kate Dries: just like sticking your body on a pyre and letting it burn

hillary: “elements” kate, that’s what’s not bad

kellyfaircloth: you guys have all given this a lot of thought

kara: fire is an element

make sure to include this transcript in your wills folks

Madeleine Davies: “the amount of non-renewable fossil fuel needed to cremate bodies in North America is equivalent to a car making 84 trips to the Moon and back… each year.”

kara: yeah but how many bodies

Emma Carmichael: real death scenarios

Madeleine Davies: you guys should read that Ask a Mortician book

Emma Carmichael:

kara: people who play instruments in public…

kellyfaircloth: i long for death just looking at that picture

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