Your Boyfriend Romeo Rose Wants to Babysit Kids


Romeo Rose, a.k.a your racist, sexist boyfriend who you loooooove sooooo much that you can’t stop thinking about him, is back and requesting to babysit Austin-based children for the low, low price of $10/hour.

We first met your boyfriend Romeo through his now defunct website Sleepless in Austin, where he was offering $1,500 to whoever could introduce him to his dream girl (you). He had a couple of caveats — the lady who would eventually claim his heart couldn’t be fat. Or have short hair. Or be black. Or have ever dated a black man. Naturally, even though the site cost him his job, you rushed to his side (how could you pass?) and you’ve been in love with him ever since — even after reading through his pro-rape tweets. AND THEY SAY ROMANCE IS DEAD.

Unfortunately, Romeo — as you well know, thanks to the long discussions you share over dinner dates at Long John Silver’s — has fallen on tough times and is looking to make a little extra scratch through babysitting. Never mind that he once said that “having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser.” He wants to be trusted with your children and has put out a Craigslist ad saying as much.

Down on his luck Austin celebrity will babysit (south austin)
I am trying to make some supplemental income, I am an starving Artist, so if there’s anyone in Austin that has a dog or children and you need a baby sitter or pet sitter please contact me, I would be happy to watch your kids or your pets. I only charge $10 a hour. Email me, serious inquires only.
I will not babysit any kids of the age that still wear diapers, I don’t change diapers, sorry.
I can provide references upon request.
Romeo Rose

Down on his luck Austin celebrity. $10 a hour. I can provide references upon request.

I started this post feeling silly and now I just feel sad.

Image via The Baby-Sitters Club.

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Share Tweet Submit Pin