Romeo Rose, a.k.a your racist, sexist boyfriend who you loooooove sooooo much that you can’t stop thinking about him, is back and requesting to babysit Austin-based children for the low, low price of $10/hour.
We first met your boyfriend Romeo through his now defunct website Sleepless in Austin, where he was offering $1,500 to whoever could introduce him to his dream girl (you). He had a couple of caveats — the lady who would eventually claim his heart couldn’t be fat. Or have short hair. Or be black. Or have ever dated a black man. Naturally, even though the site cost him his job, you rushed to his side (how could you pass?) and you’ve been in love with him ever since — even after reading through his pro-rape tweets. AND THEY SAY ROMANCE IS DEAD.
Unfortunately, Romeo — as you well know, thanks to the long discussions you share over dinner dates at Long John Silver’s — has fallen on tough times and is looking to make a little extra scratch through babysitting. Never mind that he once said that “having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser.” He wants to be trusted with your children and has put out a Craigslist ad saying as much.
Down on his luck Austin celebrity will babysit (south austin)
I am trying to make some supplemental income, I am an starving Artist, so if there’s anyone in Austin that has a dog or children and you need a baby sitter or pet sitter please contact me, I would be happy to watch your kids or your pets. I only charge $10 a hour. Email me, serious inquires only.
I will not babysit any kids of the age that still wear diapers, I don’t change diapers, sorry.
I can provide references upon request.
Romeo Rose
Down on his luck Austin celebrity. $10 a hour. I can provide references upon request.
I started this post feeling silly and now I just feel sad.
Image via The Baby-Sitters Club.