While you were busy braying at the moon about the death of One Direction, an Indian two-year-old was kicking ass, taking names and ensuring her triumph and victory in any number of possible dystopian situations (zombies, Hunger Games, The Oregon Trail) in the future. Meet Dolly Shivani Cherukuri, the kid to be envious of today.
Dolly, who was only days from her third birthday when she broke the record, is the youngest Indian to score more than 200 points at an archery trial. But she didn’t just break a record, she shot it into tiny irreparable pieces by scoring 388 points in total. Using a specially made bow and arrow, the bundle of adorable lethality shot 52 arrows at targets 15 and 21 feet away. What were you doing at two? Were you potty-trained? Could you write your own name? Whatever it was, Dolly is probably doing it better. But don’t despair, it’s not like this is an accident.
“Listen, I’m not trying to push you or anything,” the message will go. “And I’m so proud of your fancy job and love little Mittens — who is a cat — as my own grandchild. But I’m reading about this two-year-old here and she’s simply amazing. I’m sending you the article for inspiration and I’m not asking for much, but if this child — she’s a goddamn child — can break a world record, the least you can do is give me a grandchild. Or a wedding. I’m not picky!”
Thanks, Dolly. Thanks a lot.
Here’s video of the prodigy in action. Check out her bow technique and her real-as-hell stretches. This toddler isn’t messing around.
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