A Hundred Years of Testimonies to Ketchup's Supremacy
In DepthThe recently announced merger of Heinz and Kraft has prompted some to declare ketchup “a comfort food for people who never aged past wearing disposable pants, using fat pencils and shoving their dirty fists in their mouths.” Jeb Lund, normally a quick-witted sage, has turned full-blown troll extraordinaire in this circumstance, writing for The Guardian that “this merger will destroy the last vestiges of taste in America.”
“It will make everything ketchup,” Lund continues, “and ketchup sucks.” Oh no.
Despite the fact that I know this piece has been purposefully crafted in order to rile me up, I won’t rise above it. I’ll prove, once and for all, that this condiment rules America. It always has, and it always should.
1893: An article on the state of goods in Germany reveals that it’s much better to be in the good old U S of A: in Germany, a bottle of ketchup costs between 2.50 to 2.75 marks, while in New York, it’s 20 cents. [Ed. Note: I have no idea what “marks” were worth in the late 1800s nor do I want to do the math about inflation but the implication here seems to be that that’s more than what ketchup cost in New York by a lot.]
1895: A brief blurb in the Philadelphia Times declares that appropriate way to spell ketchup is not “catsup” and rightfully classifies the condiment “a pick-me-up; a stirrer of digestive organs”:
Why catsup? Nearly every bottle which comes from a public manufacturer is emblazened with that spelling. Wrong. Ketchup is the word. It is a corruption of the Japanese word, kitjap, which is a condiment somewhat similar to soy. It is a pick-me-up; a stirrer of the digestive organs; a ketch-me-up; and hence its application to the mingling of tomatoes and spices whose name it should bear.
1909: The owner of a New York restaurant injures a patron by throwing a bottle of ketchup at him. The owner got what was coming to him: he was shot.
1937: A New York City couple cooking ketchup in their backyard is severely injured after a wartime shell under or near the flame explodes.
1950: Two U.S. soldiers are court-martialed and fined for refusing to pass the ketchup to a sergeant when he requested it: “Both of them used it and told the sergeant that if he wanted it to ‘come and get it himself.'”
1955: The government reveals that U.S. Navy has stockpiled over 800,000 gallons of ketchup, valued at over a million dollars.