A List of the Existential Crises We Had While Listening to Serial


As we all know very, very, very very very very well, today marked the final episode of Serial. And kudos to Sarah Koenig & co. for actually churning out a legitimate, relatively satisfying conclusion under the unanticipated pressure of millions fixing for answers.

Too many so many words have been written about this podcast, and in honor of our peers in the media who have painstakingly parsed each and every syllable that passed from the lips of our beloved SK, Jezebel has put a little somethin’ together—all of the dumb crises, knee-jerk reactions, and embarrassing emotional spirals incited by Serial that, until today, lived safely inside the otherwise intelligent heads of myself and my brand new coworkers. This is a huge mistake!

On Murder:

“Is everybody I know a secret murderer?”

“It’s not really that hard to murder someone.”

“How many serial killers are just bopping around out there, waiting to do murders?”

On Heartthrobs:

“How hot is Adnan RN? Can I see an up-to-date picture of Adnan?”

“I would have given Adnan a chance because he reminds me of Jon B.”

On Psychoanalysis:

“My dad’s a psychologist, he’ll def know if Adnan did it, I’m going to figure this entire thing out right now.”

“Why are all teens sociopaths?”

“Why does death make a life more interesting?”

On Don:

“What was Don’s whole deal? What is the deal in general with guys in their twenties who go out with high schoolers?”

“DON did it.”

On Delusion:

“At one point I secretly wanted to see Adnan and Sarah Koenig fall in love.”

“Am I Islamophobic?”

“I bet if I was picked for jury duty I would be the best at it and I’d become head juror and make a really fair decision.”

On Relationships:

“I wish I’d had such an active love life in high school.”

“I just can’t visualize anyone falling in love in a LensCrafters.”

On Journalism:

“What would I sound like with one of those voice-maskers?”

“What if Sarah Koenig drunk dialed Adnan?”

“Is Ira Glass secretly kind of pissed about this?”

Image via Serial

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