Before the ceremony, Baldwin tweeted lines from an Emily Dickinson poem: “Was bridal e’er like this? A paradise, the host, And cherubim and seraphim The most familiar guest.” Dickinson’s ghost immediately tweeted him back like “@alecbaldwin lolololol u silly SNIFF MARISKA’S HAIR 4 ME :DDDDD” [Boston, Twitter]
- James Franco will have six featured columns in Playboy called Francophile. Its first installment concerns “space, energy and magic.” Otay. [Page Six
- Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were sleeping apart in the weeks before their divorce proceedings began, as two people who do not love each other are wont to do. [TMZ
- Jade Jagger gets married/satisfaction. [NY Post]
- Katy Perry used to not believe in gay marriage but now she realizes that all marriage is equally hopeless and dumb. [Pop Crush]
- Jenna Jameson is being sued by the rental company from whence she got the Maserati she crashed, because she won’t return it. Womp. [TMZ]
- Elton John speaks out against gay violence at a concert in Ukraine. [Reuters]
- Penelope Cruz is fucking psyyyyyyched to be a housewife. [Rte.ie]
- Mel C. had to defend Victoria Beckham, both formerly from ’90s hit British girl group The Spice Racks or whats-its-face from people who claimed she looked sullen and unhappy in photographs. Obviously they don’t know Easy V doesn’t come for free, she’s a real lady. [NYDN]
- Expected: Britney Spears not listening to rap. Unexpected: Spears turns to rap expert Demi Lovato for advice. [Radar Online
- Then she put a red dress half-on. [US Magazine
- Ann Curry spent her last broadcast unable to look at Matt Lauer. That makes two of us. [Us Weekly
- Chris Brown has actually penned the Ballad Of The Great Bottle Fight Of 2012 that I have been making jokes in my Dirtbag about for weeks! It’s actually a remix of a song called “I Don’t Like,” and hurtful things are said about Drake (“Them eyebrows, man, them shits is yikes”) [Rolling Stone]
- Then he went and got a giant wolf tattooed on his neck. #themshitsisyikes [Bossip]
- Rihanna showed up to a gig in Sweden drunk and sad because her grandma had just died. Is it me, or is this Dirtbag uncommonly depressing? [Daily Mail]