All the Good Stuff in Kate Middleton's Biography Is Probs About Harry


Okay, so I didn’t actually read Katie Nicholl’s Kate: The Future Queen. I have no desire to do so, really, because Kate the Actual Person (as opposed to Kate the Commoner Who Became a Duchess and Future Queen of L.K. Bennett) is kind of vanilla; she had be pretty free of any fun personal fuck-ups to get the queen’s stamp of approval. So what’s there to say about Kate the Person other than the fact that she’s around William and Harry a lot? Not much, apparently: The book’s back cover features blurbs that say the book is “full of juicy details” about the princes, and praise for how the author “fondly chronicles the boys’ lives.” Translation: Pay no attention to the fact that this is technically a biography of Kate; she’s just a means to a handsome ginger end.

Anyhow, the chapter titles alone sum up her story well enough.

  • Once Upon a Time
  • Moving Up in the World
  • A Model Pupil
  • A Change of Heart
  • An “Undie” Graduate at St. Andrews
  • The Bubble Bursts
  • The Breakup
  • Waity Katie
  • Princess in the Making
  • A Royal Engagement
  • Mr. and Mrs. Wales
  • A Tour of Duty

And they lived happily ever after.

Now someone please read the book and let us know what Harry does.

Image via Getty.

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Share Tweet Submit Pin