Here’s how losing your teeth works: You pull the thing out of your mouth you get a dollar for it. You pull another one, you get another dollar. A good month can see you bringing in up to 5, maybe even six big ones in pure profit. But sometimes the tooth fairy is a lazy sack of poop that doesn’t want to do their job. (I feel you tooth fairy.)
This letter, which was posted by an imgur user who claims not to remember it being quite so hostile, would, if the Tooth Fairy were real, bring them to tears and possibly a consultation with a psychiatrist who plays fast and loose with the benzos. It is one of the meanest things I have read, which makes it that much more hilarious. You don’t want to bring me a dollar, you fucking layabout? I’ll keep my own fucking teeth. I’ll sell them to Tommy down the block. I’ll get you fired. You’re not a tooth fairy. You’re NOTHING.