Bachelor Pad Ends Just As Horribly As It Began


After a short, but insane season of delusional reality television characters, simulating sex in challenges, and throwing eggs at the least attractive girl in the house, Bachelor Pad has come to a close. But don’t you worry — there was enough fuckery in last night’s three hour long finale to hold you over til it’s time for The Mental Kisser™ to find love on The Bachelor come January.

If you’ll recall, Bachelor Pad began its season by inviting two sets of ex-lovers to compete on the show, unbeknownst to one another. One of said couples were Holly and Michael, who had been previously engaged before heading onto the show. Throughout the series, it was obvious that Michael was still very much in love with Holly, and that Holly…wasn’t. In fact, she was into Blake, the “hated guy” in the house. And he was into her.

Fast-forward to last night’s finale where Blake sits down with host Chris Harrison and reveals that he and Holly have been dating since the show, are moving in together, and have recently become engaged. Cut to: Michael and Holly being brought on the stage, as a couple, ready to win that quarter-million dollars. Holly has to tell her ex-fiancé that she’s engaged to be married once again, which he immediately remarks is “super awkward.” No shit, kiddo. He continues, “I am shocked. Maybe a water would be great. Or a commercial break?” Gee, wouldn’t we all like a “commercial break” during those awkward, terrible moments in our lives?

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