Chip Gaines Finally Addresses His Highly Controversial Hair

And Bennifer Lopez looks at a mansion that has a baffling number of kitchen islands

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Chip Gaines Finally Addresses His Highly Controversial Hair
Screenshot:The Today Show

Chip and Joanna Gaines have been making the rounds promoting their brand-new television channel, Magnolia Network. Yesterday, they appeared on the fourth hour of the Today Show, the fun hour with Hoda Kotb, and finally addressed an issue that has been plaguing me privately for months.

“First of all, the biggest change is sitting right in that chair,” Hoda says, as Chip runs his hand through the ginger-colored tagliatelle attached to his scalp. “We need a French braid, we need something!” Chip seems pleased at the attention, but his wife, Joanna, suffers silently next to him, an imperceptible sigh passing over her face. The hair is long. It’s “lush.” It’s in need of a Mason Pearson brush or at least some dry shampoo. And the women of Today could not stop talking about it because, honestly, if you are in the presence of something so confounding, what else are you going to talk about?

Twitter either loves it or hates it; it has “grown” on his wife, Joanna. “He’s about to shave it,” Joanna says, after insisting, twice, that this choice is one that she is happy with. The reason Chip gives for his hair’s length, which I feel should be illegal, is that it just started to grow out, and then the pandemic happened, and nobody got haircuts. But now, there is a philanthropic bent to this personal style choice, for he will shave his head and donate the hair, which is something he’s done in the past. Okay, girl.

Here’s more of what Chip has to say about his hair:

“I like to continue to bring in bucket lister-type situations into my life and I was like, hey, when I die I’m going to say, ‘You remember that season that I had that long hair?’ And when I’m bald as a bat here in a couple of months after we shave it — literally, razor-blade bald — then I’ll say I’ve never been bald before either.”

My personal theory, which is rude, but also probably true is that if men of a certain age are not losing their hair, they will let it grow wild and free, as a pre-midlife crisis event. If the hair can grow, it should, or so the thought process goes. I disagree! But I’m not married to Chip Gaines, so thankfully, this is not my problem. [Today]

Bennifer Lopez are looking for a new home—a palatial, big-boy house for their enormous and fulsome second chance at love to flourish. (Here are some very good photos of these lovebirds in a car in L.A., on their journey to find shelter for their amour.) According to the papers, the estate that they toured is in Beverly Hills and costs $63 million friggin’ dollars. That’s a big chunk of change. The house in question is less a house and more like a luxury hotel. There’s a bowling alley, a movie theatre, an enormous swimming pool—all standard for rich people, I guess.

But I’d like to focus briefly on the kitchen:

Image:The Grosby Group / BACKGRID (Backgrid)

The kitchen has three islands. No! Why! I get it, but also, still no! Ugh. Here’s the other part of the house that strikes me as unnecessary, but also fine.

Image:The Grosby Group / BACKGRID (Backgrid)

There is a grotto that is less sex-dungeon and more like that fancy day spa where Justin Bieber got a massage and “moaned” for all to hear. Great for guests, but also great for Bennifer Lopez, who can do horny time in their underground pool if they don’t wanna do it upstairs, where everyone can see. [Celebitchy]

  • Britney Spears’s mother, Lynne, has something to say. [Page Six]
  • Courtney Stodden also has something to say. [Us Weekly]
  • Priyanka Chopra is also speaking! [People]
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