Click Here to See Pedro Pascal’s Sword
Start your masturbatory engines, shes, theys, and gays; new stills from Gladiator II just dropped.
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On Monday—cruelly, one day after Pride month concluded—Vanity Fair published an exclusive first look at Ridley Scott’s Gladiator sequel starring Pedro Pascal and Paul Mescal. The preview features a lengthy summation of the plot, some behind-the-scenes casting details, and interviews with Scott and both of his stars. But who gives a shit about any of that, right? We’re all here for the gallery. Start your masturbatory engines, she’s, they’s, and gays.
First up we have Mescal—who portrays Lucius, a warrior fighting for his life and his land—going head to glorious head with Pascal’s Marcus Acacius, a Roman general who razed it. Though I couldn’t care less who’s winning, it very much appears as if it’s Mescal—his arm raised in defiance as a disarmed Pascal grimaces. They’re grimy, sweaty, overgrown with hair, and wielding swords. What more can be said? All those delicious morsels of machismo are enough to make me, a bisexual woman, doubt the fifty percent of me that’s a little fruity.
Paul Mescal and Pedro Pascal in ‘GLADIATOR 2’ pic.twitter.com/xtwVTvc7dZ
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Then, there’s a lot of solo shots of Mescal—a harbinger for Pascal’s demise, perhaps? He sifts sand through his hands, does something violent while shirtless, and stands triumphantly in an arena where I have to assume he kills a bunch of men. Of Mescal, his co-star remarked that he would, and I quote: “rather be thrown from a building than have to fight him again.” Excuse me, I have to go dump a cooler of Gatorade on myself and furiously [redacted] now.
First look at Pedro Pascal as General Acacius in Gladiator II pic.twitter.com/czfahfR3Oz