Congrats to Trump, Who Has Finally Won the War…Against Showerheads

Congrats to Trump, Who Has Finally Won the War…Against Showerheads
Image:Mark Lyons / Stringer (Getty Images)

Everyone has their list of annoying but mostly harmless household grievances; a drawer that always gets stuck, a sink with a lousy drain, a washing machine that is way too loud, a window that is still too squeaky even after dousing the hinges in WD-40. President Trump has one too: shower-head water pressure. Trump has long lamented that he cannot adequately rinse out his hair due to restrictive energy regulations that limit the trickle of water onto his person. But thanks to Trump’s useless bitching, the rules will now change.

Reuters reports that the United States Energy Department finalized two rules Tuesday which will roll back efficiency standards on household fixtures and appliances, like showerheads, dishwashers, and washing machines. According to The Hill, the new rule essentially changes the definition of a showerhead, “allowing different components within the device to count as individual fixtures, sidestepping requirements that allow no more than 2.5 gallons to flow through per minute.”

Naturally, environmentalists aren’t happy; the new measure undercuts energy-saving measures that have been in place for years and will likely increase water bills and the cost of other utilities to boot. But the Trump administration is touting this as a victory for consumers.

“Today the Trump Administration affirmed its commitment to reducing regulatory burdens and safeguarding consumer choice,” Energy Secretary Dan Brouilette said in a statement. “With these rule changes, Americans can choose products that are best suited to meet their individual needs and the needs of their families.”

Perhaps this is a victory for people who care more about water pressure than helping the environment or reducing their bills. In other words, this is a victory for Trump above all else.

Trump repeatedly griped about energy regulations. In December 2019, he complained about toilets flushing poorly and the newfound ubiquity of LED lightbulbs. He also claimed that women always complained to him about dishwashers not being as powerful as they used to be

“Remember the dishwasher, you’d press it— boom—there’d be, like, an explosion,” Trump said. “Five minutes later, you open it up, the steam pours out. Now you press it 12 times. The women tell me, again. They give you like four drops of water.”

He rambled about it again in January:

And during a campaign rally in July, Trump offered the following argument for why this regulatory revamp was worth fighting for: “Showerheads — you take a shower, the water doesn’t come out. You want to wash your hands, the water doesn’t come out. So what do you do? You just stand there longer or you take a shower longer? Because my hair — I don’t know about you, but it has to be perfect. Perfect.”

Congrats to Trump who has finally won a single battle in his useless war against energy efficiency. Can’t wait to see what his comb-over looks like in 2021.

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