After she totally stood up Matt Lauer this morning, just before noon today, Paula Deen (or one of her minions) tweeted that she would be releasing a video statement shortly. Almost immediately afterwards, writer/editor Brokey McPoverty started a hashtag: #PaulaDeenApologyBingo. Soon, Twitter was flooded with guesses about what Deen might say in her video, from the straightforward to the straight-up hilarious. There are scores of ideas; here are just a few:
Slavery was a terrible time in our history. #pauladeenapologybingo
— Breasteses Mahoney (@ShantaFabulous) June 21, 2013
‘i don’t see race!’ #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Brokey McPoverty (@brokeymcpoverty) June 21, 2013
‘i have lots of black friends/friends of all races’ #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Brokey McPoverty (@brokeymcpoverty) June 21, 2013
I’m Southern. #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— ʃɑ̃.paɲ (michael) (@emptychampagne) June 21, 2013
i’m not racist. my ottoman is a black person! #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— ¯(ツ)/¯ (@opinionedda) June 21, 2013
“From now on, I’ll use the term ‘Anglo-Saxon Impaired’.” #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Eric Wolfson (@ericwolfson) June 21, 2013
it’s just an expression! #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Brokey McPoverty (@brokeymcpoverty) June 21, 2013
BLACK PEOPLE SAY IT ALL THE TIME #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Brokey McPoverty (@brokeymcpoverty) June 21, 2013
“I was excited for the new Hov album, so you actually heard me say JIGGA” #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Desus (@desusnice) June 21, 2013
We buried mammy in the family cemetery #PaulaDeenApologybingo
— Valérie (@Vivaciously_Val) June 21, 2013
“I treat everybody the same.” #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Tanya Stephens (@tanyasinwi) June 21, 2013
“I misspoke.” #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— accalmie (@_accalmie) June 21, 2013
‘I got Beyonce on my iPod.’ #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Oro Monhoe (@Ms_Toni) June 21, 2013
I thought the black men looked sharp & elegant with their uniforms & reminded me of a time where everyone dressed up. #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— The Toast (@TheToast2013) June 21, 2013
But I have black friends! #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Anna S. (@wittykitty5) June 21, 2013
I messed up, and I’ll try to do butter #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Broderick Smylie (@savoryexposure) June 21, 2013
A mammy weaned me and told me i is smart, i is kind and i is important, yall #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— jujoffer (@jujoffer) June 21, 2013
‘My statements were taken out of context’ #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— SickNSweet (@Suga220) June 21, 2013
@brokeymcpoverty Oh I’ll play. “I’m sorry that I was misunderstood/you misunderstood me.” #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Zandar (@ZandarVTS) June 21, 2013
I didn’t mean to offend anyone. #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— ʃɑ̃.paɲ (michael) (@emptychampagne) June 21, 2013
“I’m sorry you were offended.” #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Chamaree (@ChamareeM) June 21, 2013
Some of my best dishes come from black people #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Puppy Brother Jake (@CplxSimplicity) June 21, 2013
I do go to church y’all. As the Lord forgives, I hope y’all can forgive me too, y’all. #PaulaDeenApologyBingo
— Renisha J. (@RenishaRenewed) June 21, 2013
As we anxiously await Deen’s video explanation/apology (she has yet to post it!), we’re printing out this bingo card so we can get ready to play along.
[Twitter]
UPDATE: The video statement is here.
GET JEZEBEL RIGHT IN YOUR INBOX
Still here. Still without airbrushing. Still with teeth.
