Hark! It’s More Kristi Noem Book Drama

Barf Bag: The infamous book in which the South Dakota Governor voluntarily shares that she executed her dog, Cricket, has more weird stories.

Hark! It’s More Kristi Noem Book Drama

Welcome back to Barf Bag. 

One week ago, we learned that South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem (R) wrote in her own book that she shot and killed a 14-month-old puppy meant to be a hunting dog because it was “untrainable” and tried to bite her. I regret to inform you that there’s more Noem Nonsense to report, including potential fabrications in said book about other lawmakers. But first: #PuppyGate Updates. (Yes, another #PuppyGate.)

Noem has been doubling and tripling down on why she had to drag the young dog named Cricket to a gravel pit and execute her, rather than trying to find Cricket a new home. She told Fox News that it was a “working dog, not a puppy” and was “extremely dangerous,” so she had to put the wirehaired pointer down for her children’s sake.

Even Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah)—who notoriously strapped the carrier of the family dog Seamus to the roof of their car for an hours-long drive in the 80s—had some fun dunking on Noem. “I didn’t shoot my dog,” Romney said. Noem’s chances to be Donald Trump‘s running mate are essentially over because, in the United States, many people love dogs more than they do other human beings. One Trumpworld source told the Daily Beast, “This stuff is devastating. There’s nothing more popular in politics than dogs, and she killed one—and she continues to talk about it… That’s what’s baffling and shows out of control judgment.”

But it appears there’s even more drama surrounding her forthcoming book, titled No Going Back. Noem writes in the book that she, as a mere member of the House Armed Services Committee, somehow met North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. She said of the likely fictional meeting that the leader “underestimated” her, but that, as a children’s pastor, she had “experience staring down little tyrants.” Ma’am, I don’t think yelling at a seven-year-old to stop picking his nose is the same skill set as dealing with an authoritarian.

Noem also writes in the book that she canceled a meeting with French President Emmanuel Macron last year. But Macron’s office confirmed to the Dakota Scout that he never had a meeting scheduled with Noem.

Ian Fury, a spokesperson for Noem, conceded that there are errors in the book, telling Politico, “We’ve been made aware that the publisher will be addressing conflated world leaders’ names in the book before it is released.” It looks like her publisher, at least, will be Going Back.

  • Speaking of the Trump veepstakes, Rep. Elise Stefanik (R-N.Y.) has burnished her resume by filing an ethics complaint against special counsel Jack Smith. [MSNBC]
  • Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s spoiler campaign qualified to appear on the ballot in California, the largest U.S. state. [New York Times]
  • An RFK campaign consultant working on ballot access was charged with assault after allegedly choking and punching a woman in New York. [Mediaite]
  • Disgraced lawyer Rudy Giuliani continues to have difficulty in bankruptcy court. His monthly budget is supposed to be a cool  $43,000, but he spent nearly $120,000 in January.  [New York Times]
  • Arkansas Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders (R) stood at her embarrassing lectern to announce that she won’t comply with a federal regulation to protect transgender students and instead will continue to police both bathroom and pronoun use [Associated Press]
  • Sentient scarecrow and failed Arizona Senate candidate Blake Masters is now pathetically running for a House seat and said his primary opponent doesn’t have “skin in the game” for the future of the country because he doesn’t have children. [Washington Post]

This has been your weekly Barf Bag, thanks for reading!

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