Harry Styles's Car Broke Down in Front of a Fan's House, So He Fed Her Fish (This Is Not Fanfic)

In this particular moment, so few things in life are worth celebrating. Former One Direction heartthrob Harry Styles is among them, and Harry Styles creating real-life fan fiction while we await our democracy’s potential death certainly nears the top of the list. This wasn’t on my 2020 bingo card, but none of this shit was, and for Harry, I am grateful.

Let me rewind. On Wednesday, a Styles stan named Rachel tweeted that his car broke down, presumably in a residential area, “so a fan’s dad let him in his house and while they waited, Harry fed their fish and left notes for the fan.” She included a picture of his note, which read, “Theadora, My car broke down on your street and your dad’s friend kindly let me wait at your house with a cup of tea. I’m devastated that we missed each other. Looking forward to meeting you soon. Treat people with kindness. All the love, Harry. P.S. I fed the fish.”

…How? Can you die from charm? Can your heart simply stop beating from hearing such an endearing story? Am I breathing? His use of the hyperbolic “devastated” all but perfectly mirrors the severity of emotion implicit in the boy band fan experience… and I can only wonder, is this the sweet release of death? I am… floating?

In the bottom right corner of his note, atop a watermelon (“Watermelon Sugar,” anyone?), Harold Edwards Styles wrote, “Tell your dad to get in touch and I’ll see you at a show.” According to People, on her copy of his album Fine Line, he wrote, “Theadora, Sending you all my love. I’m so sorry we missed each other. Until next time, Harry.”

My question is… where the hell was Theadora? If my dad didn’t immediately call me to let me know what was going on, instruct me to book it to his house in Texas and hold Harry hostage for six hours while he awaits my arrival, I would be pissed. It is a father’s duty. Anyway, the notes are super sweet, I’m very grateful for the photographic evidence, and now, I truly believe anything is possible. This is a magic tale, no?

I do hope someone interviews Styles soon for the full story, because I don’t plan on dropping this anytime in the near future. And to think, just a few hours before, he endorsed Joe Biden for President and I thought that was enough to carry me through next week. What’s next, man? A girl can only take so much.