Help, I'm At the GOP Debate


Hello, Kara Brown here, reporting very live from Simi Valley, California—more specifically the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library—even more specifically, the press filing room for the GOP Debate.

Yep, I’m here. I’m here because I live in the Los Angeles area and Erin made me.

After a one hour drive out here, which included getting lost twice, being redirected to two different parking lots where I then waited in line to wait in a line to get on another shuttle, which took twenty minutes to go maybe a quarter of a mile, I arrived.

I am surrounded by a lot of people taking things very seriously and a healthy amount of douchebag media bros who feel way too self-important in their wrinkled suit jackets.

As we pulled up to the library, I saw the audience line filing into the building. The line included a lot of old white people in suits and reds sheath dresses which is exactly the demographic one would expect at this event.

We still have a hell of a long time before things officially get under way, but here are some fun things I’ve observed so far.

Clay Aiken is here. I have no idea why. I saw him in the first press shuttle line so he obviously has some press credential of some sort. He was with a woman from Entertainment Tonight, so who knows? I sat behind him on the shuttle to the library. This is the back of Clay Aiken’s head.

The highlight so far are the protesters camped outside the library entrance.

We have my good homophobic buddy here who arrived very early before the crowd formed.

Most of the protesters, however, are Latinos who understandably hate Donald Trump.

Some brilliant artist crafted this magnificent paper mâché Donald Trump head.

And this proud patriot right here kept gesturing to the head while yelling: “Donald Trump can kiss my ass!”

It is only 1:30 pm out here on the West coast and I will bravely and obligatorily be here all night. Think of me, friends.

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