Here’s Hoping These Two Get Lost on an Ayahuasca Retreat and Never Come Back

Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. considering Aaron Rodgers for his VP is way too on the nose.

By Susan Rinkunas  |  March 15, 2024 | 4:18pm
Politics
Here’s Hoping These Two Get Lost on an Ayahuasca Retreat and Never Come Back

Welcome back to Barf Bag. 

The Joe Rogan-loving, “do your own research” men in your life got a huge gift this week when it was reported that the conspiracy theorist and independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. had reached out to injured Jets quarterback and anti-vaxxer Aaron Rodgers (along with a few other wackos) about becoming his running mate.

Rodgers has what is presumably a full-time job and is expected to be the starting QB next season; one would think that campaigning for the November 5 election would interfere with little things like training camp, the preseason, and actual regular season games. Rodgers said mere weeks ago that the Jets needed to avoid distractions: “The bullshit that has nothing to do with winning, needs to get out of the building.” That comment came after Rodgers suggested on Pat McAffee’s podcast that late-night host Jimmy Kimmel was linked to Jeffrey Epstein, and Kimmel threatened to sue. It’s all very interesting given that RFK Jr. has actually taken multiple flights on the accused pedophile’s planes! Tables turning, etc.

However, these two are unfortunately perfect for each other. Recall the 2021 saga when Rodgers said he’d been “immunized” against covid—but it turned out that was a carefully worded dodge to hide that he hadn’t gotten the vaccine and instead got a homeopathic treatment.

And Rodgers continues to sound like a parody of himself. McAfee said on his Wednesday show that the athlete probably didn’t know the news about being on the VP shortlist was coming because he was on an ayahuasca retreat in Costa Rica when it broke. (Rodgers was with Dolphins player Jordan Poyer.)

Later on Wednesday, CNN reported that Rodgers told one of its journalists in 2013 that the horrific shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary—where 20 children and 6 adults were murdered—“was actually a government inside job and the media was intentionally ignoring it.”

Rodgers responded on Twitter Thursday, writing: “I am not and have never been of the opinion that the events did not take place.” A close read shows he’s saying he believes it happened but is not denying that he might believe the shooting was an “inside job.”

Anyway, might I suggest these two pals ingest a drug that makes you vomit uncontrollably, go on a hike, and never come back?

  • Whiny right-wing vlogger Ben Shapiro said the entire concept of retirement is stupid “unless you have some sort of health problem.” [Media Matters]
  • Special counsel and former Trump administration official Robert Hur—who claimed in a report on Joe Biden‘s handling of classified documents that the president is an “elderly man with a poor memory”—was real uncomfortable in a House hearing when faced with a transcript in which he said Biden has a “photographic understanding and recall.” [Twitter]
  • Arizona Republicans blocked a bill to guarantee the right to use birth control in the state. [AZ Mirror]
  • Conservative activists got a record number of books banned from school libraries and public libraries in 2023. The 4,240 book titles targeted last year was more than the amounts in 2022 and 2021 combined. [The Guardian]
  • Donald Trump flip-flopped on TikTok and now Steve Bannon is shitting on him. [New York Post]
  • Just a cursed headline: “Donald Trump Jr., Kimberly Guilfoyle keep Christmas-style ‘Patriot Tree’ up year-round – in front of his dad’s portrait” [Page Six]

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