It's On Between Scarlett Johansson And Joseph Gordon-Levitt

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Scarlett Johansson is, like, totally hot for Joseph Gordon-Levitt. That’s right, she may be too sexy for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo director David Fincher, but she’s apparently just sexy enough for Joseph. Various big-mouthed friends and sources say the saucy little minxes were seen kissing in NYC last month and grabbed some chow together back in July. Which in tabloid speak means only one thing — adult cuddles! If it’s true, then mad props to ScarJo; between this and a rumored Bradley Cooper fling girlfriend be getting what’s hers in the wake of her Ryan Reynolds break-up. [US]

Sure to raise the ire of “real” hard-working moms everywhere, Katie Holmes put her foot in it when she dared to discuss how she balances the pressures of employment and motherhood. “As an actress who is also a mother, you don’t have the luxury of drama,” she told Marie Claire. Granted, she probably has an army of nannies at her disposal but stress is relative. Oh, okay: attack winged monkeys, attack! Go for the eyes! [Celebuzz]

It looks like Alec Baldwin was prepping for work at Occupy Wall Street the other night, because just the next day the rest of the 30 Rock crew were out and about filming a protest of their own. With Tracy Morgan and special guest Denise Richards thrown into the mix, Liz Lemon took to the streets to talk about the bigger picture: “Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.” Fact. [Vulture]

Finally, the moment you haven’t been waiting for is here — Lindsay‘s latest mug shot! [E!]
Meanwhile, with Linds looking at time behind bars Dina puts her other cash cow, Ali, to work. She’s nothing if not a good mother … I mean stage mother. [E!]
Which, in turn, leads to talk of muscle wastage and teen plastic surgery. [Radar]
And might explain why Lindsay donated $50K to charity in her mom’s name. You know, to win back her affection. [ONTD]
Papa Lohan clearly feels left out at this point so runs to the nearest camera to say horrible things about his eldest daughter. Which makes you feel sorry for her all over again, considering what ridiculous stock she comes from. And on and on it goes … [Daily Mail]

  • Forget sexy nurse or sexy foreign aid worker this Halloween, the latest thing is sexy momma according to journalists covering the Jennifer Garner beat. [Radar]
  • Sexy nursing mother is also an option thanks to January Jones‘s selfless shifting of unsightly baby lard, report the UK press. [Daily Mail]
  • Chelsea Clinton looks like Lady Gaga in the photo she posts of the pair on Facebook. Envisage the Freaky Friday-style remake possibilities. That’s one reboot I think we could all get behind. [Daily Mail]
  • Kate Winslet refuses to be skinny, despite the fact she’s actually pretty skinny. [Mirror]
  • Taylor Armstrong has been kicked off Real Housewives according to the National Enquirer. “Bravo’s Andy Cohen Makes Tragedy-Stricken Taylor Sign Eternal Contract In Own Blood” would make a more believable headline. [E!]
  • Producers will also be pleased to discover Taylor‘s new boyfriend has a violent past. [Radar]
  • Katherine Heigl says three-year-old Naleigh loves wearing stilettos. [US]
  • Drake is a proud emo rapper. [ONTD]
  • Marky Mark packs a sad because his director bestie picks another boy to play make believe. [The Wrap]
  • If you thought Christina Hendricks‘s computer game character wearing a “masculine leather jacket” was bad enough, wait until you see the sorry state of her breasts. [Daily Mail]
  • In lieu of decent acting work, Matthew Perry has decided to take on the team of Flip This House. [Radar]
  • Who makes a hotter vampire: Rob Pattinson or Johnny Depp? Chloë Moretz answers the tough questions. [E!]
  • Prominent think tank TMZ managed to slip a little trans-bashing and racism into their coverage of the naked antics of Argentina’s version of Dancing With The Stars. [TMZ]
  • Who knew Barack Obama was such a catty two-faced bitch? [TMZ]
  • Sailor-level language makes Ellen Barkin‘s Twitter page a fucking good read. [Twitter]
  • For the bridally inclined, may I present Shannon Doherty‘s wedding dress. [US]
  • And if your white taffeta-lust is not yet satiated, here is Nikki Reed‘s. [US]
  • Penelope Cruz — upgraded from lady crush to lady boner. [The Sun]
  • Never heard of Matt Cardle before? Me either. But I can’t resist the gentle whispers of delusion that are 9/11 conspiracy theories. [ONTD]
  • Referential stars refuse to let Marilyn Monroe rest in peace. [Billboard]
  • Kath And Kim fans rejoice! The movie is happening … right now! [Digital Spy]
  • Ricky Gervais is a nong for using the word mong on Twitter. For the record, “nong” isn’t as bad as it sounds. [Digital Spy]
  • The director of the film River Phoenix was shooting when he died is trying to get it back off the ground with the help of younger brother Joaquin‘s voice. Creepy? Sure. But we’re willing to overlook it. [E!]
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