Jim Carrey Gets Seriously Creepy On Emma Stone

By Whitney Jefferson | August 25, 2011 | 1:00pm

Celebrities Dirt Bag

Jim Carrey has the hots for Emma Stone and he doesn’t care who knows it. He uploaded an ever-so-slightly strange video to his website on Wednesday, wherein he said the following: “Emma, I think you’re all the way beautiful. Not just pretty, but smart and kind-hearted. And if I were a lot younger, I would marry you,” Carrey tells her. “We would have chubby little freckle-faced kids, we’d laugh all day long, go camping and play Yahtzee. Tell ghost stories by the fire. And every day, for the rest of your life, you would thank God that I was the appropriate age for you.” No word on any restraining orders just yet. [US, Official Site]

Jason Bateman and his wife Amanda are expecting their second child, according to Amanda’s father Paul Anka. He says, “I’m going to be a grandfather again!” Congrats all around. [Just Jared]

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TMZ got their hands on a business plan for a new film called Growing Defiant, which is being sent by Dina Lohan to prospective financiers. The movie is “a hard look at the social pressures that can lead a kid in the wrong direction,” and there’s reportedly an asterisk at the bottom that says, “The cast listed above is a suggested cast list only. Michael Lohan is the only cast member who has been signed.” He’s signed to play the lead role, coincidentally, which is that of a heroin addict. Family fun for all! [TMZ]

Simon Cowell would like to be cryogenically frozen when he dies, telling GQ, “If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. If it does work, I’ll be happy. If it’s possible, and I think it will be, why not have a second crack? Does that sound crazy? I think it’s a good idea. I have a feeling that if I don’t do it now,” he says of the procedure, “I could regret this in 300 years’ time.” [GQ]

“Hacker students” have discovered that Dakota Fanning will be attending New York University this fall. But really, the people at NYU Local discovered a loophole that would allow them to search through the school’s new email system and saw her name in the directory. [NY Daily News]

Bachelorette reject/wine seller Ben Flajnik will reportedly be the ABC’s next Bachelor. (We thought he was seeing Jennifer Love Hewitt?) Clearly, the nation demands more mental kisses. [US]

Larry David reportedly found love on the set of Curb Your Enthusiasm. He’s rumored to be dating actress Amy Landecker, who starred in last week’s episode as the bisexual woman whose attention both Larry and Rosie O’Donnell were vying for. Since her episode was filmed over six months ago, the pair have been spotted out together in both New York and LA. Somehow this one makes much more sense than the rumor that he was dating Eva Mendes. [Page Six]

Multiple members of crew from HawthoRNe, the TNT drama Jada Pinkett Smith stars on, tell TMZ that she and Will have not broken up. [TMZ]
Alec Baldwin, 53, has sold his fancy-pants Central Park West apartment to move in with his girlfriend, 27-year-old yoga instructor Hilaria Thomas, downtown. [Page Six]
Hustler insist they have a sex tape of Rihanna and rapper J-Cole. Leave RiRi alone! Related, Rihanna eats ice cream in Portofino, Italy. So gelato, then? [Radar, Just Jared]
Click through to see Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire riding around in vintage cars on the set of The Great Gatsby. [Just Jared]
Sarah Michelle Gellar is looking radiant on the cover of Entertainment Weekly this week. [ONTD]
Speaking of 90s television actors, two of our (many) favorites from Boy Meets World has snagged roles in fall TV. Ben Savage will head to Bones, and Anthony Tyler Quinn (aka the motorcycle-riding, sexy Mr. Turner) will appear on an episode of Pretty Little Liars. [ONTD]
A body found in the Mississippi River yesterday belongs to Michael Showers, of HBO’s Tremé. The actor reportedly went out for a drink and never returned home. [WDSU]
Sara Gilbert and Allison Alder, her partner of 10 years, have broken up “amicably.” The two share custody of two children son Levi, 6½, anddaughter Sawyer, 4. [People]
Jared Leto says he’s unsure about the future of his band 30 Seconds To Mars. He questions their creative direction, and wonders if he’s up for making another album: It took two years to make This Is War. Touring it has been another two years. Do I have that in me again?” [Perez]
After marrying her new husband, Tara Reid went straight to living in the Celebrity Big Brother house. On the show, she has reveals that she has a few questions about her marriage: “I get nervous, I guess. Because when we’re together I’m like, ‘Where are we living, what are we doing?’ It’s kind of scary.” [Contact Music]
ABC will give Shonda Rhimes (Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice) a third show on the network called Gilded Lillys. The period drama is set in 1895 and revolves around the “first true luxury hotel in New York City.” [Inside TV]
First Britney, now Katy Perry — are Cheetos the official snack of the stars? And more importantly, how can they stand the orange crap all over their fingers? [ONTD]
Whoopi Goldberg has finally adopted the adorable kitten featured on The View that had been thrown out of a car window. She has named him “Vinny.” Congrats to the happy couple! [Contact Music]
Heather Graham will star opposite Rob Corddry in Fox pilot Little In Common. The project failed to be picked up in May, but with a brand-new cast, will likely show up in the network’s midseason schedule. [THR]
Brothers Mark and Donnie Wahlberg just bought the rights to the restaurant name “Wahlburger.” Get ready for a new burger joint in Boston that will always say “Hi to your mother for me.” [Pop Sugar]
Carrie Fisher has lost 50 pounds in less than nine months because she really wanted to fit into that gold bikini one again. She told the Today Show, “I want to get back in that metal bikini and just walk around the house like an idiot! Answer the doorbell and say, ‘Oh, what? This old thing? I’m just wearing my home-style metal bikini’. I’ll come out with a line of metal bikinis for women over 40! It’s for dignity. If you want dignity you wear a metal bikini over 40. That’s all I’m saying!” [Digital Spy]
Lily Allen says her pregnancy makes her “feel like a penguin, not the chocolate covered biscuity kind, but an actual penguin that waddles. Now can’t stop thinking about chocolatey penguins doh!” Is there such a thing in Britian? She continues, “I can’t see my toes and I’m not bendy anymore.” [Digital Spy]