Justin Bieber Attacked By Wild Animals On Oprah


The dreamy teen wonder sat down with Oprah today — predictably the audience, consisting solely of frothy-mouthed young females, went into a feeding frenzy. It was a terrifying jungle, but Mother Nature is not gentle. She is brutal, untamed. Observe.

The wild hyena spots her prey.

She lunges for her dinner. The chase is brief, but Bieber slips through her paws. She will return to the den empty-handed.

A young female vulture stretches her wings, preparing to to swoop down upon the young star. Nearby, young howler monkeys swing aggressively as they lower themselves through the trees.

Brightly colored parrots nest in the highest reaches of the jungle balcony. If you listen closely, you can hear their high-pitched mating calls.

The panther roars with agitation. The competition for meat is stiff, and she hopes her fearsome demeanor may ward off competitors.

A treetop mongoose emerges. She is excited, and maybe moving too quickly to hunt with proper execution.

As dusk sets, the frogs grow louder — Bieber serves a dual purpose for these amphibians, as he is both a potential mate and the juiciest fly they may ever feast upon.

But wait! The lioness emerges! She has been lying in wait, and now will swiftly make her move.

She grabs Bieber in her powerful arms, claws digging into the soft flesh of his back. He has no chance of escape. The queen of the jungle ensnares enough meat to get her cubs through the next hour.

The three-toed sloth retreats, resigned to another night of hunger. She is slow, and will not survive the night if she remains on the jungle floor.

To watch the action live is an intense experience. The roars, the imminent violence — the jungle is raw. And in the face of biological need, there can only be blood.

Earlier: Justin Bieber And Twitter’s Heart Of Darkness
Great Moments In Art: Watch Justin Bieber Dry His Hair

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Share Tweet Submit Pin