Kate Beckinsale's Secret to a Long Relationship? Be a Hilarious, Hot Homebody Who Never Does Cocaine

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Is it just me, or is everything about this interview with Kate Beckinsale ridiculously charming? She talks about her anxiety when shooting fight scenes in the Total Recall reboot: “When it came to the actual hour of it, I was like, ‘Oh, my God, am I gonna be the person who breaks Jessica Biel’s nose?’ I’ve only really fought with stuntmen and hairy werewolves before.” She talks about how totally useless action-movie training would be if she were actually attacked by a madman: “I think what’s dangerous about being an actor who does action movies is you think, ‘Well, I can totally handle myself now.’ But if my opponent didn’t know the other half of the routine, I don’t know how well I’d do.” And she talks about how she maintains such a successful long-term relationship with director Len Wiseman: “I think it helps if neither of you is shagging 12 other people at the same time. That’s a hot tip,” she jokes. “I think it’s entirely down to picking the right person. My husband and I are pretty un-Hollywood, you know. Neither of us has tried cocaine, and I think I’ve been drunk once, by accident, in my life.” Could someone please go back in time and remind younger me to start loving Kate Beckinsale way sooner? [Us]

Charlie Sheen claims that he’s the one who came up with Winona Ryder‘s stage name, but the ungrateful she-beast never gives him any credit: “We were listening to the Doors, to ‘Riders on the Storm.’ [Winona’s] real name is Horowitz. And I said, ‘You know, I’m thinking Winona Ryder sounds cool,’ and she was like, ‘Yeah!’…”[She] never, never gave me credit to this day!” [E!]

You know, I used to think that Justin Bieber was just a good-hearted kid in an overwhelming situation, but I’m starting to pretty firmly turn the corner. Fuck that boring, entitled douche. He got a speeding ticket this morning on LA’s 101 freeway, claiming that he was “being chased” by unspecified ne’er-do-wells. According to police, “the chase exceeded 100 mph.” Now, I don’t know if the alleged chasers were paparazzi or fans or friends or enemies or Dick Dastardly and Muttley or what-the-fuck, but I do know that ugh Justin Bieber fart bock bock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. [Yahoo!]

Apparently Seal has moved on from Heidi Klum, just three months since their divorce, reportedly “cozying it up on a yacht with a gorgeous bikini-clad brunette.” He’s also been “smooching,” “working out,” and “goofing.” Sounds pretty fun! Seal’s take: “I’m in an excellent place right now. In a situation like this, your priority is the children. As long as the children are happy, I’m happy.” Okey dokey. [E!]

  • Lady Gaga tweeted that she’s “freaking out” about the new No Doubt album. It’s so funny to remember that underneath the straitjacket made of duck tongues she’s a 26-year-old girl from New York who grew up on Tragic Kingdom just like the rest of us. [JustJared]
  • Someone named “Jackson Rathbone” made a baby and then smoked a cigar about it. And then Us Weekly was all, “[he’s] a true ‘Bone Daddy’ now!” and the whole thing made me feel like Encino Man because WTF. [Us]
  • Colin Farrell went for a walk. [JustJared]
  • Joe Mangianengananananaana kissed his girlfriend, causing E! to go into a fugue state and use the word “hunkster” like it’s English. [E!]
  • Sofia Vergara went on vacation to Mexico and stood next to a big cannon. [E!]
  • Ringo Starr doesn’t give a SHIT about his 50-year anniversary with the Beatles: “It’s just another number, isn’t it? You know, that’s how it is. … It used to be just two years. Ooh, now five. Now 40.” [ONTD]
  • Tom Cruise‘s lawyer says Tom Cruise is “really sad.” [Us]
  • Brian Austin Green kissed Megan Fox on the mouth. [E!]
  • Ha ha, unlike every 6th grader on earth, Mitt Romney doesn’t know what a Venn diagram is. When reached for comment, he replied, “Sssshhhh! I’m trying to finish Island of the Blue Dolphins before snack.” [BoingBoing]
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