Some fool has betrayed the most important member of the Royal Family, namely, Kate Middleton’s hair. According to reports, Kate Middleton, the human host of Kate Middleton’s hair, has fired her hair stylist James Pryce. The man’s crime: posting hundreds of pictures of the Duchess in various hairstyles to Facebook and Twitter in order to promote his business.
Anyway, having committed the high crime of Hair Treason, he’s been condemned to a life of ignominy and bleakness — never again permitted to gaze upon that chestnut waterfall comprised of long strands of dead skin cells. According to the Telegraph, Kate still has her hair cut and colored at the salon, “but James has really been pushed out.” Goodbye forever, James. [Radar]
Emma Thompson had a round-table with THR, and she said very many great things. For example, she talked about making out with Meryl Streep: “I’ve snogged her. And what I learned was, you have to use tongues even if you’re not a lesbian.” Sage advice. She also talked about turning down dumb sexist roles:
There was a patch of time when I was in my 30s and just started [being
offered] a whole string of roles that basically involved saying to a
man, “Please don’t go and do that brave thing. Don’t! No, no, no, no,
no!” That’s a trope, the stock woman who says, “Don’t do the brave
thing.” I said no to all of them. I’m so proud.
The moral of this story is that if you stand up to patriarchy long enough, you just might get to snog Meryl Streep (I think). [Vulture]
Miley Cyrus’ 21st birthday was sort of exactly what one would expect, with a twist: there were strippers; the alcohol was flowing, as were the tongues, right out of everyone’s mouths. The Lorax was there, which is the surprising part. TMZ has a video of him milling around and watching strippers disinterestedly. [TMZ]
Kanye West says that America doesn’t give the Kardashians enough credit: “They prep America to accept interracial relationships.” Honestly, I don’t know how to respond to this so I’ll just leave it here and pray for the power to understand. [Bossip]
Kanye
also says to not buy any Louis Vuitton until January, in protest of
some important person from the fashion house not wanting to meet with
him. Don’t occupy luxury handbags this holiday season. Activism! [E!]
- Solange resolved a Twitter feud over the phone instead of doing it in public where we can all read it and cackle like the malicious leeches we are. [Bossip]
- Britney Spears is “so in love” with her boyfriend of whom I’ve never heard before. Is this a thing that I just missed? I AM SORRY FOR BEING LATE TO YOUR HAPPINESS, BRITNEY. [E!]
- Taylor Swift and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Dress and Harry Styles. [E!]
- Ian McKellen says he regrets not coming out earlier. [HuffPo]
- Ok there is a rumor that Angelina Jolie is buying Brad Pitt a heart-shaped island for his birthday but it’s not true. I am including it, however, because I wish it were so fervently. Also because I want one of you to write a short story about it (mostly centered around Shiloh Jolie-Pitt in a sailor hat) and then post it on Kinja. [Gossip Cop]
- Some poor young woman posted a Twitter picture of herself and Niall from One Direction and the Internet turned on her with the full force of its bloodthirstiness. In addition, Perez Hilton used the term “longing loins” while describing the image, which is maybe worse than being cyberbullied by a sea of deranged tweens. Maybe. [Perez Hilton]
- WE GET IT, JUSTIN BIEBER. YOU’RE SAD. [Perez Hilton]
- Amy Poehler’s sons made funny faces at the paparazzi and it was so cute but also stop photographing tiny children, you monsters. [Just Jared]
- Even Julia Roberts knows that Jennifer Lawrence is cooler than her. [MTV]