Kirk Cameron, banana/sex expert, partied all night at the most exclusive wedding in the world so he could teach his girls about not letting boys put their boners in them.
According to US Weekly, Cameron was the “bonafide Hollywood celeb” guest at Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald‘s wedding on over the weekend. So why did this Hollywood mega star attend such a lowly affair as the nuptials of two reality show stars? So he could teach his daughters about saving themselves for marriage, of course! Cameron posted a glowing review of the Duggar/Seewald wedding to his Facebook page on Monday:
My daughters and I were invited to Jessa and Ben’s wedding and we took this photo during the rehearsal dinner the night before. They were bursting with anticipation! We flew to the Duggar hometown, not only to be part of the fun and excitement of honoring this precious couple, but as a father, I want my daughters to see what it looks like when a couple reserves their “first kiss” for at the altar. Wow! This kind of moral excellence and purity is rare today, but our sons and daughters are priceless. This dad has only a few years to etch these meaningful images on the minds of his children. I wish I could tell you details of the wedding, but I am sworn to absolute secrecy by the Duggars! What I can say, is that it was beautiful, meaningful, and … surprising! We were also invited to the Duggars house after for volleyball, campfire singing, and dessert till 1:30 am. We even got to worship together at church the next morning…
Then he plugged his shitty Saving Christmas movie, turned into a ball of fire and rose to the top of Mount Sinai where he continued to perfect his purity-themed Christian macrame art for the glory of all mankind.
KIM KARDASHIAN BLEACHED HER EYEBROWS. Prepare for global meltdown. Get your loved ones, pets and run for your nearest bomb shelter. This is what we’ve been preparing for, people. [Just Jared]
Omarosa Manigault worked with children and relied on her faith to get over the death of her fiance Michael Clarke Duncan in 2012. [Huffington Post]
Despite being offered Joan Rivers’ spot on Fashion Police, Kathy Griffin says the job may not be right for her. [Access Hollywood]
Comedian and actor Wayne Brady opened up about having depression, saying he had a “complete breakdown.” [Entertainment Tonight]
Miles Teller will star in a new movie by The Amazing Spider-Man director Marc Webb [Variety]
Lisa Kudrow thinks her Friends’ character, Phoebe, would probably be a “conservative soccer mom” now. [ABC]
Here is Deee-Light in 1992 reminding you to Vote, Baby, Vote: