Lauren's 24-Hour Product Diary: I Could Probably Try Harder
EntertainmentI have been a freelancer for almost two years, and in that time I have transitioned from “normal, if under-groomed, office gal” to “semi-feral blog waif.” I work extremely erratic hours, which means my days are unrecognizable from one to the next; I’ll often go multiple in a row without having a conversation longer than “I’ll take this one neat” or “Is it cool if I pay in dimes?”
Luckily for me, construction on a luxury apartment next door has served as my alarm clock for the past year, with a chorus of jackhammers awakening me at 7 a.m. on the dot. Do I float out of bed like a well-rested butterfly emerging from a high thread count cocoon? No. Sometimes I will I stuff in some earplugs and go back to sleep, but much of the time I succumb to the din, and hurl myself, groggy and pissed off, into the shower. This is how I start my day.
Shower Time
I am on the tail-end of a bottle of Nivea Gel de Ducha Cremoso (body wash), which I bought in Colombia during a month I spent there this summer. I dread running out of it because it means more time than I’d like has passed since I was there. I was initially wary of the scent (“Care & Orange”) since I tend to think citrus-y soaps are more likely to attract a cloud of bees that will sting my eyes out, Wicker Man-style. It turns out I actually really like the scent, and haven’t been chased down by a single mob of bees since I started using it! In order to forestall its end, I use only a little drop and subsidize it with Trader Joe’s REFRESH Citrus Body Wash, which smells to me like the freshly scrubbed linoleum of an upscale gym. Not all citrus body washes are created equal, it turns out, but whatever. I’m clean.
I am hesitant to type this, but I generally avoid washing my face. This is because a friend with the flawless skin of a baby once told me she didn’t and, because I am more impressionable than a lump of fresh clay, I stopped doing it too. That said, I do own a bottle of Aveeno Active Naturals Positively Radiant Brightening Cleanser, because I once tried a bit of my roommate’s in the shower and was happy to find that my skin didn’t immediately break out or fall off. These are the standards I set for my face wash. If I remember to take my makeup off, I use Neutrogena Oil-Free Eye Makeup Remover, though usually it comes off when I rub my eyes with my sleeve or smear my face across my pillow.
To redeem myself in your eyes after the whole “not washing my face thing,” I want to tell you that I’m pretty obsessed with oral hygiene, and brush my teeth so many times per day with a vibrating Oral-B Pulsar that my gums are starting to recede. In addition to the regular morning and evening, I also tend to do it when I am stressed, bored, or want to fall asleep but can’t. Ditto flossing. I’ll probably continue to brush and floss them obsessively even after they all fall out; the dental equivalent of Lennie squeezing the puppy to death.
Hair Time
I have been blessed with hair I genuinely consider cooperative, and over the years we have developed a healthy, functional relationship. I wash it two or three times a week with some OGX flavor or another—this time it’s the Moroccan Argan Oil shampoo and conditioner; other times I like the Coconut Milk. I try to mix it up. I’m crazy!!
After it’s clean, I usually do one of two things, depending on the weather/time of day. If it’s night and relatively warm, I’ll let it dry, and then French braid it, which tends to unfurl into nice waves the next day. Otherwise, I’ll let it dry around 75 percent of the way before blow drying it straight. For the longest time, I thought I had to straighten it in small, painstaking little pieces, a process that took forever, but only a couple years ago did I learn that just dumping my head upside down worked almost equally effectively.
To dry it, I use a horrendous hairdryer (a Conair 1875) I bought at a Dollar General in New Orleans, which if I’m not careful actually sucks the hair into the back. I’m too lazy and cheap to buy another one, though, so it will have to do until the day it stops working 4o or 50 years from now.
I tend to have a lot of little flyaways, even though I don’t dry my hair that often and haven’t dyed it in years. My hairdresser has in the past said that this is the result of new growth, since at some point “a bunch of your hair must have fallen out.” Great! To combat this, I will occasionally pat on a drop of Renewing Argan Oil of Morocco Penetrating Oil. But usually not.