Like The Onset of Responsible Adulthood, Jersey Shore's Trip To Italy Delayed

The cast of Jersey Shore’s trip to Italy has been delayed due to “logistical problems.” It’s hard to plan several months of gym, tan, and laundry when every gym, tanning salon, and laundromat in the Mediterranean has preemptively banned you from the premises, but I’m sure Snooki, JWoww, and the rest of the human caricatures we’ve grown to love will figure out a way to drink, go to clubs, and make out with people on camera. I have faith in their pluck, and loyal train wreck watchers, don’t fret- they plan on departing to film season four next week.[Digital Spy]
Glee‘s Matthew Morrison promises that his new album will be eclectic, and I strongly suspect that his definition of eclectic differs from mine. I hear “eclectic,” I think of David Bowie, but when Matthew Morrison says it, I bet he means that some songs are faster, while others are slow. Coming to an elevator near you. [Contact Music]
Ginnifer Goodwin says she that despite her successes making films about hapless protagonists in the big city who find love despite being mildly quirky and sometimes doing embarrassing things in front of her crush, she doesn’t want to be trapped in the romantic comedy genre. You see, she’s in love with an action movie star and she’s too shy to talk to him so has hatched an elaborate, misguided plan to pretend that she’s an action star or something to win his heart. Along the way, she learns a lot about herself through a series of montages set to upbeat soul music. Ain’t no mountain high enough to keep this romcom’s protagonist from that boring dude she likes! [Contact Music]
Kanye West has designed some scarves. For the woman (or man) who doesn’t have enough inscrutable pieces in his or her wardrobe. Buy one for your mom this Mother’s Day. [ONTD]
Natalie Portman may retire from acting to raise a family with her future husband, a guy who impregnated Natalie Portman while he was still living with his long-term girlfriend. Whoops! Ex girlfriend, I guess, now. This probably means we won’t be subjected to a sequel of The Black Swan, wherein the cast of Swan Lake goes to the Middle East and acts racist for 2 hours while the camera slowly pans over expensive shit. [Digital Spy]
Just when you thought the sight of Princess Beatrice’s toilet squid hat was the apex of your hat-watching existence, this news from across the pond: apparently a cousin of Bea is getting married later this summer, and she’s returned to the milliner from whence came the glory of the Royal Wedding. What kind of design do you think the hat maker will suggest? Girl will wear anything. [Daily Mail]
Vivid Entertainment has offered Pippa Middleton $5 million to appear in a pornographic film. Yes, what Pippa Middleton needs to do right now is to take her clothes off so we don’t forget about her. I WONDER IF SHE WILL DO IT. (Answer: no.) [TMZ]
Victoria Beckham requested guests at her baby shower bring pink gifts in celebration of the fact that Posh is finally going to have a baby girl of her very own to teach to scowl in pictures and wear teetering platform heels. [People]
Jodie Foster’s home is for sale for something ridiculous like $10 million. Neighbors report seeing Robert De Niro driving a taxi and circling the property, determined to prevent Foster from selling it. [Contact Music]
Salma Hayek’s 3 year old daughter Valentina was styling on everyone at a performance of Mamma Mia! last night. It’s impossible to compete with the swagger required to pull off a pink feather boa. [Just Jared]
Olivia Wilde is a natural blond, but is happier with dark hair because she says that when she had blond hair, people treated her like she must be stupid. I had blond hair for a hot minute, and it was strange. People kept asking me how many of me it took to change a light bulb or how I was doing since that accident involving the cow sitting on me while I tried to drink milk. I hear Polish people have a similar problem. [Contact Music]