Lindsay Lohan is 'Happy' in Rehab, Says Totally Credible Source Dina Lohan

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Okay…so…Lindsay Lohan is definitely officially in rehab now, right? Inside of the rehab building, doing the rehabbing as we speak? Has our long national daymare finally come to an end? (Spoiler: lol, no.) Based on a quick glance at my What Lindsay Lohan Is Doing Right Now Reliability Matrix, there is a 67% chance that Lohan is not in rehab, but is actually hanging out at a Radio Shack in Tustin. Dina Lohan, naturally, says otherwise.

Lindsay Lohan‘s mom admits that it’s been “a crazy 48 hours.”
“A crazy five years!” Dina Lohan added, exclusively talking to E! News about her daughter’s whirlwind odyssey from New York to L.A. that ultimately ended with the 26-year-old being checked into the Betty Ford Center “just on time.”
“I am so relieved and thankful that Lindsay is getting the help she needs in a credible place,” Dina says. “She actually wanted to go, whether the court said to or not. She is happy there, to get introspective and get back on the right track.”
…Lindsay “is gonna be OK,” Dina says. “She has a different frame of mind this time. She realizes and she knows she needs help this time. She was like, ‘I’m sorry, Mommy.’ And I tell her, ‘Don’t say you are sorry. You just have to work on yourself and on getting well. Don’t beat yourself up.’
“The bottom line is that [addiction] is a disease. It is a gene. Pretty much one in every family in the world carries it. It is difficult. You just have to heal.”

Ohhhhh, good fucking luck and stuff. For the billionth goddamn time. [E!]

PepsiCo is dropping Lil Wayne as a Mountain Dew spokesman after Wayne penned an offensive lyric about Emmett Till.

“We do not plan any additional work with Lil Wayne moving forward,” a Mountain Dew representative said in a statement. “His offensive reference to a revered civil rights icon does not reflect the values of our brand.”
The Deweezy campaign website was taken down.
In a remix of the song “Karate Chop” by rapper Future, Lil Wayne likens the beating of Till to sex.

Don’t worry, PepsiCo, I’m sure Tyler, The Creator will be a way less controversial spokesperso—oh. nm. [Reuters]

Aaaaaahahahaahahahahahahahah Donald Trump is mad because Jon Stewart revealed his “birth name” and now all the peasants are making fun of him on Twitter. Aaahahahasldkjfhalsdjfsdhfskjdflajd.

Aaaaaaaahaahahahahahahahahhahahaahaahahaahahah. Don’t feed the trolls, Trumpy! Oh, Trumpy, you can do stupid things. [E!]

  • Zoe Saldana and Elle Fanning wore the same headband. [E!]
  • Katy Perry went outside wearing this weird thing. Wazupwitu, thing!?!? Wherefore elbow-vents!?!?!?!? [JustJared]
  • Amanda Bynes says she’s trying to transform herself into a stripper named Blac Chyna, because sure. [E!]
  • Here’s Gisele Bundchen with her baybay. [E!]
  • Here’s LeAnn Rimes with some other baybay. [E!]
  • Here’s Holly Madison showing off the area where her baybay used to be. [E!]
  • Tia Mowry and her husband Roger are spending Mother’s Day with Johnny Depp. [Us]

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