Maybe Garth Brooks Did Get Celebratory Inauguration Hairplugs

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Maybe Garth Brooks Did Get Celebratory Inauguration Hairplugs
Image:Caroline Brehman-Pool (Getty Images)

The only moment I maybe considered crying during the Inauguration yesterday was when Kamala Harris was sworn in as vice-president. Had I been able to muster up emotions other than hollow relief, I probably would’ve also cried when Garth Brooks took off his cowboy hat and sang a lovely a cappella rendition of “Amazing Grace.” Had I been crying during this special moment, my tears would’ve obscured the fact that maybe, just maybe, Garth got some hair plugs for his big day.

Truthfully, I’m terrifically unobservant and this would’ve gone right over my head, but according to the New York Post’s eagle eye, Garth’s hair was looking more robust at the inauguration than it has in previous years. Personally, I was surprised to see that Garth Brooks had hair in the first place, only because I assume most, if not all men, will go bald as a cue ball eventually. However! It looks like Garth Brooks had a fresh haircut, and also, likely, fresh plugs, planted in the smooth expanse of his skull, laid with love like big strips of sod in a neglected backyard.

Here is his performance from yesterday, if you did not watch this and would like to see for yourself.

After studying the photo provided by the Post, I cannot say for certain that Brooks didn’t get hair plugs? If anything, he did dye his hair a little. Not that Garth needs my blessing to do anything, but if he did get hair plugs, I say he should come out loud and proud about that fact so that all the men who freak out every day about their hair falling out of their heads, rendering them Caillou-bald and therefore emasculated (?), can just get some hair plugs and move along. [New York Post]

It is not my place or anyone else’s to speculate on the sexuality of a teen, even if the teen in question is famous. Instead of sharing with the class what I think is happening in this video below, I will share the video and let you draw your own conclusions.

I am sorry to say that this is a thread, and so if you feel compelled to follow this line of inquiry further, there is another video in there that, per Taylor Lorenz, the “teen” correspondent for the New York Times, is evidence of JoJo Siwa coming out. Again, I will not believe this or do anything with this information until JoJo Siwa herself confirms it, but this video exists. [Twitter]

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