Megan Thee Stallion's Delightfully Dirty 'Captain Hook' Will Make You Blush

By Maria Sherman  |  March 13, 2020 | 9:30pm
EntertainmentMusic

Hello!: Megan Thee Stallion, “Captain Hook” – I’ve seen some chatter lately about Megan Thee Stallion being one-note, a sentiment I think is the result of months of exposure above all else. But I sincerely hope that “Captain Hook” shuts the haters up, because we really get everything that makes Megan great in this track. The beat bangs, the video is cute, and the lyrics are delightfully dirty. Frankly, “I need a Mr. Clean, make that pussy beam/Okay, I just might need a baker, make that pussy cream” made me blush, and nothing makes me blush. —Ashley Reese

I mean, it’s fine: Little Mix, “Wasabi” – Little Mix’s latest single is a kiss-off to anyone who thought they might’ve broken up—which is fine, but surely there are more pressing issues to push back on? Their harmonies are as tight as ever, and I appreciate the self-celebration here… I just hope the next record has a chorus as one of the most underrated pop bangers of the last decade, “Black Magic.” —Maria Sherman

Wow, yes: Girlpool, “Like I’m Winning It” – Who expected this evolution from Girlpool? “Like I’m Winning It” is unlike anything in the band’s repertoire—a total departure from their harmony-based guitar rock into some dystopic, disco-future. Comparisons to David Lynch are not unwarranted but make no mistake: it’s anything but derivative. This song is absolutely electric. —MS

Honestly? Yeah: 5 Seconds of Summer, “Old Me” – It’s rare for a boy band to grow up and individuate together—to mature their sound from adolescent pop rock into something more contemporary without disbanding—and yet, 5SOS have managed to do exactly that. “Old Me” is nowhere near the best song on their forthcoming LP, C A L M, but it is a clever rumination on a universal sentiment: reflection without nostalgia. —MS

Sure: Rita Ora, “How to Be Lonely” – It was only a matter of time before a pop artist capitalized on social distancing, but I wasn’t expecting it to be Rita Ora. (Okay, fine, it’s much more likely that she wrote this breakup song prior to this global health crisis, but the sentiment stands.) “How to Be Lonely” is a perfectly passable pop song blessed by ideal timing. —MS

Chill beats for chill times: Flume feat. Toro y Moi, “The Difference” – Sometimes, its nice to travel back to college, where I’d be laying facedown on the floor of the closet I was renting, listening to “lofi hip hop radio – beats to relax/study to” on YouTube and pretending like homework didn’t exist. “The Difference” takes me there! I’ve heard a lot of drum kits in my life, and while there’s nothing particularly novel about the one at work in Flume and Toro y Moi’s latest venture, I appreciate the vibe it creates. That, of course, and Toro y Moi’s soothing croons. Good work, everyone! —Joan Summers

This gives me anxiety in a way I’m mostly fine with: Yaeji, “WAKING UP DOWN” – Something about Yaeji’s music stirs a deep anxiety inside me. I think it’s because it reminds me of the tinny sounds of a shitty club bleeding through a too-small bathroom stall. Not necessarily a bad thing! “WAKING UP DOWN” is no different. I probably won’t seek it out on my own, but were my friend to put it on shuffle while rolling us a blunt, I’d happily tap my fingers along, and remark: “Huh! Yaeji’s pretty cool, don’t you think?” —JS


MMMMMM yes: Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith, “Expanding Electricity” – The comfort this 10-minute ambient opus from Jez fav Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith may be fleeting, but it’s real all the same. Let Smith’s gorgeous modular synth atmosphere and harmonized vocals be your portal to a brief chill-out sesh. They are so hard to come by at the moment. —Rich Juzwiak

 
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