Mike Bloomberg Is Nasty

Mike Bloomberg Is Nasty
Image: (Getty)

Buffets are a bad idea in the best of times. Yes, they offer abundant, unlimited food and sometimes even the option of building a salad of minimal vegetables and maximal bacon. But, on the downside, this plentiful food is generally protected by a plastic hood called a sneezeguard because hell really is other people. And those other people mean that communal food must be guarded by a chest-high barrier meant to catch human mucus before it rains down over food because human beings cannot trust their fellow man not to spray body fluids over the feed trough. Factor in coronavirus, and buffets—even little office setups in which everyone heaps their plates from the big pile—begin to present even greater potential for a single asshole to make everyone within spitting distance unwell.

Especially when Mike Bloomberg is around to lick his hands and put them back into the buffet meant for his campaign staff. Even without coronavirus, this action should be grounds for lawsuits and perhaps worker’s comp. Yet video obtained by TMZ shows Bloomberg licking his fingers like a goddamn raccoon in a dumpster without a coronavirus care in the world, taking a portion of food from the buffet, stuffing it into his mouth with what appears to be a full fist, licking each finger again individually, and then going back for more of the food provided to people who are helping them for free.

Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren have spent much of their campaigns hammering home the idea that billionaires are out-of-touch wealth hoarders with no basic empathy, a contention Bloomberg has spent his entire campaign vocally refuting yet inadvertently proving through his actions, though perhaps never quite as clearly as the time he risked poisoning the people nice enough to help him in order to ingest a microscopic amount of pizza grease. It’s too bad video of Bloomberg expecting poors to eat his spit didn’t surface weeks ago as they would have made excellent visual aids. Also “Bloomberg Is Nasty” would have been great on a t-shirt. [TMZ]

I watched that video four times for this blog and really do feel revolted, so it’s a perfect time for barf.

  • Texas spent last year closing down its polling stations. [Gaurdian]
  • Meanwhile, earning not quite $29,000 in the Lone Star State makes one too rich for health insurance. [Twitter]
  • James Comey is in for Joe. [Politico]
  • And the one thing upon which both Republicans and Democrats agree: melodrama and incest are very entertaining on TV. If I weren’t so tired I would make some joke tying that to Texas or the election or both. But there’s still too much more Super Tuesday to live through, and I simply don’t have the spare energy to connect the topical humor dots. [The Hill]
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