Oprah’s been picking her ideal presents every holiday season for over two decades, but this is the first year she’s made it all Amazon-easy: this time around, you can peruse every last insane item from the comfort of your own home. Ah, capitalism. Doesn’t it smell good?
As the Daily News points out, Oprah calls this year’s list maybe “the most versatile and fun ever.” Not as versatile and fun: her Harpo Studios also announced today that they would start laying people off in December as they move their offices from Chicago to Los Angeles. (Much like fellow media scion Hugh Hefner, Oprah sold her home in the city where she gained her fame a few years ago, and her business has slowly gone with her.)
But forget about that stuff! It’s almost Christmas! Unfortunately, Oprah’s favorite things leave something to be desired this year; for every Pappas Seafood Co. signature crab cakes (“Stedman can’t get enough”) there’s a Peace Love Oprah Fleece Zip Hoodie (“This is my favorite hoodie to wear when I walk my dogs—and I offer peace to all when I do!”). What follows is the stuff that Oprah may love, but I am decidedly not impressed with.