Only Daryl Hannah Truly Understands Green-Carpet Fashion


Environmentally conscious celebs, as well as the ones who just like being photographed, came out last night for the Environmental Media Awards. The green carpet saw plenty of slinky, sparkly, shiny outfits, and the usual fun dose of fuggery.

Is bling environmentally conscious? In any case, Nicole Richie is wearing a lot of it. I love her high-heeled maryjanes and the slightly askew strap across her ankle. Yellow looks nice on her but a big ruffled neckline AND cut-out sides are one design element too many for this dress. I also wish she’d change up her hair. The shaggy bangs, wavy hair thing is part of the “I’m a celebrity and my style is so 70’s and boho!” uniform, and I’m sick of it.

Daryl Hannah is a bad ass and a goddess. Sure, maybe affixing an “END OIL” patch to front of her dress isn’t the most sophisticated political statement, but I’m glad she tried to merge giving a fuck about the environment with giving a fuck about looking good. (Caring about fashion is not incompatible with caring about other things, people!) Shoes like that always make the wearer look a little stumpy, but mile-long legs usually help mitigate the stump effect. Plus, how cool is that heel? And those buckles on the side?

Maybe it’s the camera angle, but Justin Timberlake is looking very sloppy. His pants are saggy, his blazer is all wrinkled, and he’s wearing a plain black tee that looks like the kind that comes in threes at the drugstore. Step up your game, pal. Ashley Madekwe is wearing the inverse of the celebrity red carpet uniform—a wild dress with neutral shoes—and turned up in a neutral dress with wild shoes. But the result is still boring. Probably doesn’t help that her dress is so generic looking. Nick Offerman killed it. I challenge anyone to try and find one flaw in his appearance. Try!

Hey look—a sea of form-fitting, sparkly black dresses! I’m inspired! Just kidding. Madeleine Stowe’s lace dress has a hint of the boudoir, which is either sexy or dowdy, depending on what boudoir means to you. Emily VanCamp is wearing a dress so generic and so inoffensive, that I’m inoffensively offended by how generic it is. Perry Reeves is wearing a shiny sheath dress with a clumsy neckline, and Aubrey Plaza’s LBD is the best of them all. A black blazer with rolled up sleeves always looks cute with a cocktail dress, and I applaud her for not wearing black pumps, even though peeptoes are a close second in the race for most obvious choice of shoes.

Kim Raver’s dress looks like low-quality version of that Roberto Cavalli dress Megan Fox wore in Germany to the Transformers premiere. The blue of Charlotte Ross’s dress is beautiful against her skin, but it really reminds me of the kind of dresses I used to buy for my Barbies, and it looks like the same kind of fabric too. Michelle Kwan’s long column of brown is too much brown for me, and I hate that her halter has a hint of cowl neck. Angelina Vitale’s dress has two of my most hated design elements—Dynasty shoulder pads and a cowl neck. Shudder.

The back of Christa B. Allen’s dress is hot and the front of it is not. Mary Lynn Rajskub’s dress is wearing the dreaded, “check out that cowl neck on the back of my dress!” dress. The front of her dress is wrinkly and unexciting and nothing to sniff home about. That shade of aubergine is very pretty on her, though.

Emmanuelle Chriqui and Constance Zimmer went the sheer route. Turns out, flared velvet shorts with a see-through top are kind of ugly. If you’re ever in the market for a lace jumpsuit, cropped at the ankles, just know that the chances you’ll look great in said get-up are not great. Jane Leeves looks chic and her clutch is adorable. Wendie Malick looks like she found most of her outfit by browsing the vintage category on Etsy, and Valarie Bertinelli manages to look both hot and sweet—the fashion equivalent of hot fudge (aka AWESOME.)

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