Ooooooh! Michael Jackson Didn't Leave Anything to His Siblings in His Will, and They Are Pissed

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Janet, Jermaine, Rebbie, Tito and Randy Jackson sent an angry letter to the executors of Michael Jackson‘s estate, claiming that the will is “Fake, Flawed, and Fraudulent” (creative capitalization theirs). The letter reads, “THIS HAS TO STOP NOW: NO MORE!! Your heartless pursuit of wealth, fame and power is at the expense of our family, whose deepest desire is to give the world a gift of hope, love and unity through our music.” They’re also claiming that the stress of dealing with the nefarious executors drove Katherine Jackson to have a “mini-stroke.” Yeah, you meanies! All the Jacksons are trying to do is to give the world a gift of hope, love and unity through their music, and also to get their hands on a chunk of Michael Jackson’s massive collection of terrifying manchild curios! Which they obviously DESERVE. Jackson’s estate responded thusly: “Any doubts about the validity of Michael’s will and his selection of Executors were thoroughly and completely debunked two years ago when a challenge was rejected by the Los Angeles County Superior Court, the California Court of Appeals and, finally, the California Supreme Court.” Needless to say, 14-year-old Paris Jackson (who was named in the will, along with her brothers and grandmother Katherine) was not super pumped about this whole thing, tweeting: “i am going to clarify right now that what has been said about my grandmother is a rumor and nothing has happened , she is completely fine…i’d like to know who made up the rumor… i will defend my beloved family member with all i have , even if it means from other family members.” [E!] [TMZ]

When asked what she would do if she had a gay child, the current Poet Laureate of Big Brains Mountain Miss Peru responded with a bunch of stupid shit:

In my case, the day that God permits me to have children, it wouldn’t happen because these things happen perhaps because a child grew up without a father or was molested or lived with his mother and sisters became effeminate…I’m not too keen on the subject. The day I have my children I will entrust them to God completely, will raise them with care with a father and mother and support them completely, because there should always be communication.

GREAT POINT, LADY. But then, in a heartwarming display of internet justice, Ricky Martin called her the fuck out: “What a shame! Such foolish comments. Complete ignorance.” And THEN she APOLOGIZED!!!!! And it was a legit (although obv coached) apology too: “Due to my lack of knowledge of this topic, I made an error and it won’t happen again. I apologize if these comments contributed to discrimination or violence against the LGBT community. As a representative of Peruvian beauty, I promise to devote myself to fight against homophobia and ‘machismo’.” Awwwwwwww. My heart grew three sizes this day. [ONTD]

George Zimmerman “apologized” to Trayvon Martin‘s parents by going on TV and talking to Sean Hannity: “I would tell them that, again, I’m sorry…I love my children even though they aren’t even born yet. I am sorry that [Trayvon’s parents] buried their child … I can’t imagine what it must feel like and I pray for them daily.” I’m sure they appreciate that a lot, dude. [TMZ]

Don’t worry, you guys—even though Halle Berry fell down and hit her brain on the floor, she’s totally not messed up. “Halle Berry suffered a minor head injury while shooting a fight sequence on the set of her film, The Hive,” said a rep. “She was taken to the hospital as a precaution, but she checked out healthy and was released. She’ll continue production as planned.” On the set of her new film, The Hive. Did we mention her new film, The Hive? God, this head injury was such an awesome PR boost for Halle Berry’s new film, The Hive. [E!]

  • Here’s Kirsten Dunst wearing a shirt in California. [JustJared]
  • Here’s Lindsay Lohan in bed with James Deen. [E!]
  • “I think the risk of being the sexiest woman alive is that you don’t want to ever have sex again,” says Kate Beckinsale. [Extra]
  • Tom Cruise is wondering “what went wrong” with his marriage. Apparently he doesn’t read the ‘bloidz, because we’ve got that shit ALL FIGURED OUT. []
  • Prince Harry was at the London premiere of The Dark Knight Rises. [E!]
  • That little girl from Curly Sue just had a baby. In related news, congratulations on your 100th birthday. [Radar]
  • Charlize Theron says she doesn’t mind being naked on camera and letting Michael Fassbender rub all up on her boday. [Radar]
  • Hey, your boyfriend‘s looking for you. [Craigslist]
  • Aaaaaaaaagh Michelle Williams looks so cute in this outfit I am RUINED. [ONTD]
  • Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! Blue Ivy! [Radar]
  • Ed Helms is breaking up with Chik-fil-A because of their deep-fried homophobia: “Chick-fil-A doesn’t like gay people?” he tweeted. “So lame. Hate to think what they do to the gay chickens! Lost a loyal fan.” [E!]
  • Mike Tyson admits that he could never beat Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out, which means that he is worse at video games than an 8-year-old girl (I HELLA beat that shit). [TMZ]
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