Running for President of Your Freshman Philosophy Class 


Check your calendars because it’s cry time.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • The first few sentences of this Washington Post story have Beto O’Rourke returning from a hike in the mountains, then talking about The Power of Myth: “Okay, yeah, the same way your subconscious is the author of your dreams,” he says, “in that same way, your will is the subconscious author of your life.” Is Beto running for president or just talking a little too intensely while you’re trying to pack up your yoga mat? [Washington Post]
  • The Trump administration is “relying on secret shelters” to detain unaccompanied immigrant children with mental health and behavioral issues, with at least five sites in Arkansas, Florida, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, and Virginia, according to a Reveal investigation. Their locations have remained secret, even to their lawyers. “Detained unaccompanied children with mental health issues are some of the most vulnerable children, and when the government does not provide access to their whereabouts, it calls into question the basic underpinnings of our democratic institutions,” Holly Cooper, a lawyer for the children, told Reveal. [Reveal]
  • The Supreme Court has backed a particularly terrifying interpretation of federal immigration law around mandatory detention and the rights of immigrants with criminal records. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Andrew Yang wants to keep you uncut. [The Daily Beast]
  • There were times as a kid when I didn’t want to finish my dinner, but my mom would make me do it anyway and I looked like this while taking those final bites:

Remember Michael Cohen? [CNN]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.

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