Ryan Gosling Might Be Playing Oscar Pistorius in an Entirely Too-Soon Movie

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Um, right? If there are any too-soon-ologists reading this, could you please weigh in? Ryan Gosling may have been cast to play Oscar Pistorius in a true-crime biopic about the runner. Charlize Theron would reportedly be playing Pistorius’s murdered girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp. Who is a real person. Who was brutally murdered just a few weeks ago.

A source told the paper, “Ryan has the kind of quiet magnetism that would make this project work – plus there’s some mystery about him. Although Ryan has been saying publicly that he wants to take a break from acting to relax, executives will be falling over themselves to woo him once the scripts are finalized.”
The film would likely follow the Blade Runner’s rise to fame as an Olympian and Paralympian track star, and the Valentine’s Day shooting death of Reeva.

I don’t know. I suppose it all depends on the sensitivity and tack of the film, but this seems gross. [Extra]

UMMM, Sean Penn‘s 19-year-old son Hopper Penn attacked a paparazzo and called him several racial and homophobic slurs.

Sean Penn’s son handled a paparazzo in Beverly Hills today much the way his father used to … violently ramming the photog — and also calling the guy a “f***ot” and a “n***er.”
19-year-old Hopper Penn was following his dad into a medical building when he got into the altercation with an African-American photographer (not TMZ’s).
The nuclear exchange was all caught on tape … Hopper gets up in the photog’s face, pushing him, then says, “F*** you … you’re a f***ing f***ot … shut up you f***ing n***er.”
Cops happened to be nearby at the time and heard the commotion. Law enforcement sources tell us, officers asked what happened … but the photog said it was just a verbal argument, and he didn’t want to press charges.

My lord. Get. A. Grip. Aggro. Garbage. Dudes. I don’t know why you were going into a medical building with your father—maybe something extremely painful and stress-inducing is going on in your life—but responsible human beings don’t say shit like that even under extreme duress. Make a note of it and fix your brain. [TMZ]

Oh my god oh my god oh my god, today in life imitating the fuck out of Game of Thrones, someone BIT OFF THE GREATJON‘S EAR during an altercation at the Newcastle Travelodge. Apparently the Newcastle Travelodge is home to some hardcore shit.

A spokesman for Clive Mantle’s team told the BBC that Clive, 55, was pinned to the ground and had a portion of his ear bitten off after he asked fellow patrons at the Newcastle Travelodge to keep the noise down. The star was in Newcastle for a performance of “The Ladykillers” at the Theatre Royal.
The source said, “He is very shaken and shocked by what has happened, you don’t expect this kind of thing to happen in a hotel. The part of the ear that was bitten off was found and sewn back on. Mr. Mantle said the police, ambulance and hospital staff were amazing.”
The accused attacker, 32, was charged with wounding with intent, and will appear before magistrates next month.

I can only assume that he was all, “LOLOLOLOL,” just like that time Grey Wind ate half his hand during the assemblage of the Stark bannermen at Winterfell, amirite!?!?!!?!? Dude. I’m the Greatjon. Fuck you. (Get well soon, Clive. Holy shit.) [Extra]

American Idol alum Crystal Bowersox has been cast as Patsy Cline in an upcoming Broadway revamp of Always…Patsy Cline.

Producers of the Patsy Cline musical Always… Patsy Cline said Tuesday that Bowersox, 25, will portray the legendary country singer in the title role of a summer production in New York. John Rando will direct.
Written in 1988 by Ted Swindley, Always… Patsy Cline is based on a true story about Cline’s friendship with a fan from Houston who befriended the star in a Texas honky-tonk in 1961 and continued a correspondence with Cline until her death in 1963 in a plane crash at age 30.
The musical features 27 Cline hits, including “Walkin’ After Midnight,” ”I Fall To Pieces,” ”Crazy,” ”She’s Got You,” ”Sweet Dreams,” ”Back In Baby’s Arms” and “Your Cheatin’ Heart.” A live band accompanies the action.

Weirdly, I just met Crystal Bowersox like a week ago because we were on this radio thingy together. She was super nice. I also enjoy Patsy Cline. I have no further opinion on this. [People]

  • Here’s a sneaky photo from Jesse James‘s wedding. The theme of the wedding is “HORK.” (Also, TOPHAT.) [Us]
  • Britney Spears almost suffered a nip-slip, which is almost like something worth talking about! If you’re the kind of person who cares about nip-slips! Which I’m not! So glad we had this talk! [E!]
  • Here is a list of celebrities (George Takei, Evan Rachel Wood, Lance Bass, Ben Affleck) who give a care about gay marriage. Yay for basic civil rights! [EW]
  • If listening to Bryan Cranston make 911 calls is your thing, your day has come. [E!]
  • Scarlett Johansson went for a walk with her boyfrane. [E!]
  • Uh, whut. Justin Bieber went through Polish airport security with no shirt on. [MTV]
  • Anderson Cooper has been approached to replace Matt Lauer on the Today Show. [Deadline]
  • Amanda Bynes continues to act weird. [E!]
  • Shenae Grimes is currently planning her wedding to BIG-BOOBIE SNAKE. [Us]
  • Baby sea lion rides a turtle. [NatureBeingHilariousASUSUAL]
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