The First African-American Spokeswoman for DNC Isn't Black Enough, Says Idiot White Guy
LatestOne of the great things about being biracial is being stopped on the street by strangers demanding to know your racial and ethnic heritage. “What are you?” they ask, refusing to take “get away from me, weirdo” for an answer. Or, you know, when you’re at work and a customer grabs your arm, leans in close, and whispers, “My daughters and I pay a lot of money for skin as beautiful as yours. You have the type of skin we would kill for.”
But it’s not just white ladies threatening to turn your skin into a suit — there are lots of benefits to being biracial! Like never feeling like you fit in, or feeling like a traitor to your mother’s race because all your friends are white, or being mocked by your elementary school classmates when your mother lovingly puts your hair into braids so that you cry and take them out in the bathroom. Karen Finney is having even more fun — did you know that if you’re biracial and get hired at MSNBC, other people get to decide your racial identity for you? It’s true!
MSNBC recently announced that Finney, former deputy press secretary for Hillary Clinton, will host a new show airing on weekends from 4-5 p.m. Finney is described as “the first African-American spokeswoman for the Democratic National Committee.” But how African-American is she? Newsbusters’ Tim J. Graham, an expert in determining who is black and who is not, recently did us all a solid and used his male gazin’ skills to posit that Finney is simply not tan enough to be black. “MSNBC touting Karen Finney as another African-American host,” tweeted Graham. “Would the average viewer be able to guess that? Or is Boehner a shade more tan?” Yes. John Boehner’s glistening man flesh is “more tan” than Finney’s. By this logic John Boehner is blacker than Malcolm X, my grandpa, and Coretta Scott King combined. But Graham didn’t stop at melanin — he later implored his followers to “judge pic here,” linking to an article about Finney with a photo so that they could also weigh in on her true racial identity.