The Lost Sweet Valley High Theme Song You Never Knew Existed
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For years, I have had a Sweet Valley High theme song lodged in my brain—not the song from the television show, but one I learned as a child, from a cassette whose provenance I could not recall. Because I had no recollection of where it came from, its melody burned into my memory, the only way I thought to find it was by googling the lyrics I remembered: “Elizabeth and Jessica/ Twins, though they are/ Jess has, a wicked smile/ and Liz has a heaaaaaarrrt.” In my mind, there was a harmonic guitar solo after that verse. But for years, I searched the internet, a supposedly infinite well of information, to no avail. I resigned myself to never hearing this glorious single again.
Today, it occurred to me that the cassette may not have been a cassingle I tween-shoplifted from a Sam Goody, but in fact an audiobook. And so, one YouTube search later, I have found the song on what I will now refer to as the most glorious day of my life. Here, I present to you the Sweet Valley High theme song for audiobook: