The Queen's Birthday Team Called, and Shaggy Was Available

By Whitney Kimball  |  April 22, 2018 | 3:54pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag

Shaggy–Shaggy of the old “butt naked bangin’ on the bathroom floor” tune–performed at the Queen’s 92nd birthday party and concert event last night. I googled this three times to make sure that, yes, this was the same Shaggy. He and Sting performed their new song “Don’t Make Me Wait,” which does not mention fucking, specifically.

The line-up, also including Tom Jones and Kylie Minogue, was designed to represent each decade of her life.

Ahem.

A hypothesis: America is sexually attracted to anyone who goes up against Donald Trump. Remember last summer when we briefly entertained the idea of banging James Comey? We were in a really bad place back then. A lot of things seem normal when you’re in a verbally abusive relationship with a shrieking leech wearing bologna for a face.

Now United Talent Agency and William Morris Endeavor are reportedly meeting with Stormy Daniels’s lawyer Michael Avenatti to discuss talent opportunities.

Avenatti told NBC that is is “flattered,” but is okay for now:

I’m very flattered by the outpouring of support and compliments relating to my alleged talent, but at this point I’m far more focused and concerned about seeing this case through to completion and ensuring that justice is done then anything else.

Let’s regroup in a year.