For some reason, swimsuit designers across the board decided to get really “creative” with bikinis and one-pieces this year. Everything has weird cut-outs or lattice work. Unsurprisingly, they leave nightmare tan lines.
Terrible tan lines aside, disposing of a bikini like this could pose a threat to marine conservation. Be kind to dolphins: cut up your stupid, ugly bikinis before throwing them in the trash.
Did you ever see those those posters at the butcher shop that diagram a cow or a pig to explain the cuts of meat? Yeah, nobody wants to look like a dead cow or a dead pig when naked. (But if you do, you can purchase that swimsuit here.)
Nothing says “summer fun” like giving your tits some Disney villain eyebrows.
A swimsuit that creates a Rorschach test on your body could provide an enlightening look into the psyche of those who see you naked. (This woman’s husband told her that her boobs looked like Ritz crackers, so there’s that.)
This bikini is a really good way to get out of having to be someone’s bridesmaid this summer since you’d never be able to elegantly pull off a strapless dress.
The Jezebel staffer who modeled this swimsuit texted her “after” picture to her boyfriend. He wrote back, appropriately, “What happened?”