There Are Exactly ZERO Babies Growing Inside Beyonce, Says Jay-Z

CelebritiesDirt Bag

EMPTY WOMB ALERT!!! Responding to aggressive tabloid rumors that Bey-Bey was sporting a brand new bay-bay bump, Jay-Z released a definitive statement. Because it is totally definitely obviously 900% our business what’s going on inside a complete stranger’s uterus!

“Are you having another baby?” E! News asked the rapper-mogul, 42.
“Tonight?” he replied. “No.”

Hahahahahaahahaahahahahaha. Actual lolz. [Us]

Steven Spielberg spoke candidly for the first time about growing up with dyslexia:

“It was like the last part of the puzzle in a tremendous mystery that I’ve kept to myself all these years,” he said.
“I never felt like a victim. Movies helped me, they kind of saved me from shame, from guilt, from putting it on myself, from making it my burden when it wasn’t my burden. In my case I was unable to read for at least two years. I was two years behind the rest of my class. I was embarrassed to stand up in front of the class and read.”

He’s feeling better now. Rich and famous and successful and such. [Express]

Johnny Lewis, the former Sons of Anarchy actor who appears to have murdered his elderly landlady and her cat yesterday before falling (or jumping) to his death, had raised concern in officials months ago:

The [probation] report states the officer’s belief that Lewis, who was identified as a transient, would “continue to be a threat to any community” in which he lived unless he got help. The officer also stated he believed the actor suffered from serious chemical dependency or mental health issues.

Ughs all around. [Yahoo!]

Oh, it’s just Zac Efron being completely adorable whilst teaching Elmo about patience!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Vulture]

  • Here’s a new poster for The Hobbit, which is apparently a movie about a bunch of unconvincing wigs who are best fwiends. Follow-up question: Who the fuck is BOLG? [E!]
  • Macaulay Culkin wants Rachel Miner back. Or, according to this headline apparently written by Gossip-Hulk, “Macaulay Culkin Rachel Miner Wants Back!!!” HULK SMASH GRAMMAR. [ShowbizSpy]
  • Diddy would like you to know that his former assistant Capricorn Clark is not a thief. [Bossip]
  • Newly blonde Natalie Portman says that her mom did not recognize her with her new hair color and pushed her from the nest and Natalie had to be fed formula by a worried 5th grader with a plastic syringe. Or something. [JustJared]
  • Kourtney Kardashian exercises!!! [Radar]
  • Do I want to click on this link that promises a “racy Patrick Duffy story”? WHY YES, GOOD SIR, I DO. [Express]
  • J.K. Rowling says she’s “obsessed” with death. [Reuters]
  • Yay! Tori Spelling is out of the hospital and ready to go home and experience adorable hijinks! [E!]
  • Try reading this headline—”Arnold Schwarzenegger: ‘Bodybuilding got me everywhere'”—and NOT doing an Ahhnuld accent. Ha ha, don’t bother. You aren’t a wizard. [DigitalSpy]
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