A Definitive List Of Which Batmans Would Go Down On Their Respective Villains

There's a reason the Batsuit leaves a wide opening for Batman's jaw

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Image: Oscar Del Pozo (Getty Images)

Batman fucks; this is an irrefutable fact. It is comic book canon that he is a dark and brooding billionaire playboy and while I’m sure Gotham takes up a lot of his time, the hero that tries his best to never kill needs to release his rage somehow. What better manner than pounding some poon or peen, depending on which Batman you’re thinking of? In an effort to sanitize the Bat, DC Comics had the creators of HBO Max’s Harley Quinn remove a scene in which a cartoon version of Batman performs oral on Catwoman. The creators were told by the powers that be at DC, “Heroes don’t do that,” referring to the art of cunnilingus.

This is a disgrace to the Batman legacy and an affront to Catwoman, who is the second most attractive villain in the DC universe (Zatanna is number one and we can actually fight if you disagree).

So it falls to me, a Batman lover, to provide the definitive yes or no on all of the Batmans as lovers. This will be specific to each individual Batman’s respective villain because, of course, being as troubled as he is, Batman can’t have sex with some normie; it needs to be with someone he hates. Perhaps Bruce Wayne makes sweet sweet love to appropriate partners, but the Bat could never. Let’s get down to business.

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