Perhaps the only thing more irritating than a Game-playing bro is the shit he reads to prepare him for a hot night of mindfuckery and general douchiness, like this one, courtesy of Ask Men:
Written by a “Pickup Specialist” known as—what else—”The Player,” the article claims to provide “12 Golden Rules For Picking Up Women,” and I’m not sure what’s more depressing: the fact that these “rules” exist, or the fact that I’m sure they’ve worked at least once or twice. Bummertown to the max, you guys.
Let’s take a look at a few of this bro-tastic rules, shall we?
1. Always Be Mentally Ready To Pick Up:
Remember: Women don’t expect to be hit on as they go about their daily lives, and, therefore, they are that much more flattered when it happens.
The player wants you to be on your toes, bro, ready to hit on women at say, the grocery store, or the mall, or the pharmacy, you know, places where people go to do shit that doesn’t involve getting harassed by some creepo who keeps trying to make the checkout line at Subway into Studio 54. Can I give you some advice, dude-bros? Women DO actually expect dudes like you to creep on them while they’re just trying to buy some damn Cascade and a bag of Tostitos. Because you are what is known, in girl circles, as “skeevy.” You know, the kind of dude who confuses “being hit on” with “harassment” and “being flattered” with “being really fucking annoyed.”
2. Don’t Use Pickup Lines:
Pickup lines smell bad and make women groan, not moan. Let the situation dictate your approach. To seem — and actually be — spontaneous, commenting on something she’s wearing or has been doing can work. For example, “I was just noticing how well your shoes show off your calves, and although I’m sure you’re already aware of this, sometimes it’s nice to get outside confirmation.”
Oh, dude, no. That is so sad! You really think we can’t smell that big bag of bullshit from 5 miles away? It doesn’t have to be “you’ve been running through my mind all day” to come off as a corny, stupid pick-up line. Maybe you should drop the whole game act altogether and, I don’t know, actually try to treat the woman as a person and engage her in an actual conversation? I know it’s not as awesome as walking around in a furry hat bought at Spencer Gifts in 1997 and acting like you’re God’s gift to vagina, but it just might work.
3. Don’t Fear Rejection:
Imagine that you’re just approaching this woman to have a conversation, not to bang her.
Imagine that!!!
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
