It’s Rush Week at many colleges and universities, a special, meaningful time for bonding, sisterhood, meeting some new best friends and IF YOU DO NOT APPLY MAKEUP I WILL DO IT FOR YOU. I don’t care if you’re late for class. I will stop you.
That’s the message from a truly delightful and entirely unhinged email we received from an anonymous tipster, which outlines the appearance guidelines for the women of the Alpha Chi Omega chapter at University of Southern California.
The directives break down each and every way the AXO ladies need to look their best during “polish week,” the week before they start meeting potential new members (dubbed PNMs in the email). That includes a tireless commitment to full makeup, waxing, Spanx, non-visible roots (and no hair colors “not found in nature,” obvs). The email was sent in 2013 and the letter-writer, who we won’t identify out of kindness, has graduated, but, our tipster adds, “They’re definitely still doing it.”
Here are some of the most cogent pearls of beauty wisdom; the full email is at the bottom. All bolds are mine for emphasis, all capital letters were in the original.
On Spanx
I cannot stress how important spanx are to make you look your best. Even if you are very thin, Spanx will give you a better “line” when you wear clothes (no awkward bumps!) Plus you don’t have to worry about sucking in all the time or being bloated!
On Head Hair
Remember: your hair needs to be one normal color. No crazy ombre, no color you wouldn’t see in nature. (Also, if you’re thinking about going from blonde to black or vice versa, do so after recruitment. You won’t know for sure what it will look like, and if you hate it/your hairstylist does a bad job, that won’t fly.) You cannot have roots during recruitment, so if you dye your hair like me, please take care of that before arriving back to school.
And here, a picture of Drew Barrymore with brown roots is inserted, along with the word “NOPE.”
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