Dumb Assumptions You Should Never Make
LatestOne woman’s story of the subway patrons who assumed she was pregnant prompted us to consider the danger of assumptions — and ponder some other things you should never assume.
First: never assume a lady is pregnant.
Over at The Hairpin, Halle Kiefer chronicles her dawning horror as she realized why an older lady was volunteering to give up her subway seat: “I mean, sure, I was carrying a heavy computer bag, but why would she think that was … OH GOOD GOD NO. And that’s when I realized: this bitch thought I was pregnant.” It’s actually a common tale: Kiefer is far from the first woman to tell the story of strangers assuming you’re with child based on their own inexpert appraisals of your belly. However, she provides this handy explanation of why the situation sucks:
I don’t mind the idea of someone thinking my abdomen was pulsating with life rather than sandwiches; I just don’t want to be the punch line of a cultural joke. What sitcom/shitty rom-com/episode of Reba hasn’t featured the protagonist accidentally identifying some one-off lady character as being with child? The audience gets to share in the protagonist’s delicious embarrassment, their paralyzed smile about to shatter with laughter as the sullen faux-pregnant woman sits there silently, her bulldog face and her empty womb betraying her as The Butt Of The Joke.
Take-home message: don’t assume a lady is pregnant. Says Kiefer, “Even if they were 99.9% sure, they should have stopped themselves.”