Everyone has baggage. Some of us have heaps and heaps of matching luggage we tote with us everywhere we go; some of us have suitcases of issues that seem small but weigh us down; many of us have quirks and idiosyncrasies that swing between annoying and charming. And then there are those of us who have mental and psychological diagnoses that are no fault of our own, but impact relationships. Take Dan, who recently applied to take part in the New York Post‘s Meet Market dating column. Right away, he disclosed his situation: He has OCD and Aspergers.
Jozen Cummings, who runs the Meet Market column, has a personal site, Until I Get Married, where he wrote about his first encounter with Dan:
He was nerd-ish, badly dressed, with thick, black-rimmed eye glasses. He looked like a shorter version of Adam Levine if Adam Levine had a Forrest Gump-like haircut. None of this seemed out of the ordinary. What did seem peculiar was his slow, very slow, walk. I never waited so long for someone to get through the security gate. I felt rude for walking at a normal pace.
Dan informed Cummings about his situation right away, explaining:
My condition makes it really hard for me to make even the easiest decisions. And I know some women are dominant, but they still want a man who takes charge. I’m not that kind of guy. It takes me forever to make a decision.
I wanted to sign up for this because it’s pretty hard for me to meet women the normal way… I don’t like clubs or places with loud music and approaching a girl doesn’t work too well for me either. I will try to say this in the questionnaire, but I want you to tell whoever you set me up with about my condition. Oh, and I haven’t been in a relationship since I was 19.
Dan also specified that he thinks a younger woman would be best: “I know I’m 36 years old, but I might need someone who is around 23,” he told Cummings. “My therapist says since I have such inexperience with love and relationships, a woman that age might be better suited for me.” Plus: “I just want someone who isn’t going to run if they see me reacting to my OCD or the Asperger’s. I want someone who believes I can get better.”
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