How to Make Yourself Attractive to Women
LatestLoneliness is a bitch. I have a ton of empathy for people who are alone but don’t want to be, and for people who are certain they’re going to be alone forever, and for people who feel excluded from the possibility of love altogether. It’s such a shitty, self-perpetuating cycle—and I know that because I used to live in there. I hated it! It’s also a breeding ground for nasty, gendered bitterness—particularly misogyny (men tend to blame women; women tend to blame ourselves). The drive to be nurtured and accepted by another human being might not be the biggest challenge we grapple with as a species, but it foments a unique brand of self-destruction.
Ugh, fuckin’ dumbass romance. It’d be better if we were all just blocks of cheese. And NO, I DO NOT HAVE A WEIRD SEXUAL THING ABOUT CHEESE.
So what do you do? One of the main talking points in every single How to Make Yourself Attractive listicle is confidence. Confidence, confidence, confidence. Fake it till you make it. Except also don’t fake it, because nobody wants to bang a faker. That can be an incredibly discouraging logical dead end—turns out, the one weird trick you need to solve all your problems is this thing that you just have to be born with because it’s a vaguely George Clooney-shaped ungraspable abstraction that scampers away when you look directly at it! So just figure out how to, um, have that. But without trying too hard. Or looking at it. Now go get ’em, tiger!
A lot of guides for how to meet people tell you to fake confidence. To force eye contact. To dress outside of your comfort zone. (This Reddit thread falls into that trap a bit, but it’s genuinely pretty adorable and could be useful for people struggling with this.)
– Having confidence in yourself is probably the biggest one. A lot of people don’t realize the difference a little confidence can make. Even extreme arrogance is better than low confidence.
– Yeah, I hear that so much. Unfortunately I don’t really have much of an idea of what it consists of. What are some examples of behavior in confident people? And how is one to go about increasing it?
– Try not to give a shit about what people think of you. If you can do that then you will have a lot more confidence in yourself.
So I want to talk about confidence for people who are struggling with confidence. Here are the things: