If Lullabies Are Meant to Soothe, Why Are They So Majorly Fucked Up?
LatestHere’s the last thing I want to hear about as I’m falling asleep: A baby, alone in a treetop, ready to fall over and sustain horrible injuries and/or die, if not from the fall, then from the wolves that will likely come eat it. That’s fucked up, so why do parents continue singing this shit at tiny babies? Turns out there’s a pretty good reason.
PBS has published a fascinating article on the nature of lullabies and why they’re so incredibly dark and fucked up to the point that they may be scarring. It’s because (first of all) a baby can’t understand what you’re singing, it’s just listening to the rhythm and cadence of your voice, and it’s finding it soothing. So you could literally be singing Ben Folds’ version of “Bitches Ain’t Shit” to your little one and they will love it because it’s all about how sweetly that shit is sung. Good to know! When I have a baby, it’s going to be Khia’s “My Neck, My back” every night. (Also, this totally validates the time I was almost kicked out of an amusement park because I referred to the ferris wheel as the “spinning wheel of death” and the mom behind me was all “dude, there’s a three-month-old here” and I responded with “Your baby doesn’t know what the fuck I’m saying, yo” and she was unhappy.) (If you’re reading this, lady who went to Bonfante Gardens on June 15th 2008, I WAS RIGHT. IN YOUR FACE.)