Shield Your Eyes From The Blinding Glare Of The MTV Movie Awards


The MTV Movie Awards, held at Universal Studios, is always on the “wacky!” end of the awards spectrum. However, this year, the sparkle and shine was absolutely out of control. Think sparkle on skirts, on heads, on shoes, on crotches…

Glasses on? Okay! The sparkle-fest kicks off with LiLo, apparently raiding Liza’s closet.

Tried to think of some friends/one silver/other gold joke re: K.Stew. It was an abysmal failure. Your turn.

While Eva Mendes’ frock is reminiscent of Pebbles Flintstone chic (especially in the late, lamented Pebbles and Bam-Bam Show, in which they had a band) it’s on the rad side of Cartoon Express.

Okay, I don’t know what’s going on with this prim-distressed-faux-separates thing that’s been popping up all over the land, but let’s just say Jessica Biel’s iteration is not convincing me of the trend’s staying power.

Y’know what Lucy Hale’s dress needed? A trompe l’oeil holster.

Snooki’s already courting seven years’ bad luck, let’s not pile on.

Audrina Partridge: Adele Bauer-Bloch called. She wants her background back.

See, I’d liken this to a particularly immodest figure-skating costume (crossed with a Bar Mitzvah dancer!)…

…but the actual figure skaters go in for something altogether more demure.

In Swan Lake chic, we have Paris Hilton – this is the sort of costume much better viewed from the nosebleeds. The magic wears off at close range.

And Vanessa Hudgens has apparently been shopping the Frederick’s of Hollywood catalogue: “Summer Night” collection.

One day, someone will ask, “how did people dress in early June, 2010?” And we can point to Whitney Port.

Russell Brand does Russell Brand.

Christina Aguilera, in no way, shape or form trying to emulate Lady Gaga, of whose existence she is only barely aware but to the extent she is she believes in artists supporting each other and what? This just appealed to her this morning when she was going through her closet.

Katerina Graham, possibly pissed off at wearing a Freshman art major’s end-of-year project.

ScarJo is far too demure, unsparkly and generally staid for an MTV event. (Even if it is sorta pretty.)

The “man,” the “legend,” the “Situation.”

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