Tiffany Haddish Has Already Mastered the Awards Show Speech


Just a few days ago Tiffany Haddish admitted she didn’t even know the New York Film Critics Circle awards existed, but she pretty much owned the awards ceremony last night when she went to accept her statue for best supporting actress.

“First, I want to look at the award and make sure they spelled my name right,” Haddish said as she took the stage after admitting she already had two “Tiffany Toast” drinks (Finlandia grapefruit vodka, yuzu citrus and a hint of pomegranate, according to Variety.) “…It’s right.”

Buzzfeed’s Allison Willmore caught the entire speech on video, in which Haddish thanked God (“without God my Mom and Daddy wouldn’t have put their two uglies together and made me”) and mentioned how she doesn’t really read reviews (“the only critics I ever knew before this were Siskel and Ebert”). It is one of the few award show speeches where I actually want it to continue forever.

On relating to the many-armed statue behind her (the ceremony was held at TAO):

Y’all see this? All night I’ve been staring at this bitch, I’ve been trying to figure out who is this bitch… When I look her I feel like I’m looking at myself, she’s taking a nap but she’s doing a lot of stuff. All at the same time. That’s what my life has been like that last year. I’m asleep, but I’m woke. I’ve never been more tired in all my entire existence.

On feeling sensitive when it comes to reading reviews but why critics are important:

You know why it’s okay, you care enough to say something. If don’t say something, it means you don’t care. So if you said something, thank you. I don’t care if it’s positive or negative, I appreciate you. I’m glad you see me because it’s been so many years since somebody saw me. You know when you’re a little kid and you go through the system, you wonder: does anyone even know I’m alive? And to be able to be this example to so many youth, so many people like me you don’t know about. But they’re coming, because I keep the fucking door open.

On an incredible deleted scene from Girl’s Trip:

Universal was afraid that women would actually do this shit. So they didn’t put it in there because they didn’t want to get sued, can I share that with y’all? I’m going to put this in my special and I don’t care if somebody tries to sue me… There’s this scene where I’m telling Regina all the things I would do for her and I got her back… I say, we’re going to give him some Ambien, night night. And then when he sleeps we’re going to burn your name in his dick. And then we’re going to put mud and salt on it so it would be healed over so it can be ribbed for your pleasure. And then when he wakes up, we’ll look him dead in his eyes and we’ll tell him right to his face: ‘keep your name out of these bitches’ mouths.’

I can’t wait to see Academy Awards composers try and fail to play Haddish off stage when she wins her Oscar.

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